SPF: Junk In My Trunk and A Whole Lot Of Other Places

This weeks Stuff Portrait Friday is once again brought to you by Kristine over at Random and Odd. SPF is that little exercise that brings all of us together in pictures to realize we are not alone.

This week's assignment:

1. Your Garbage Can
2 Your "Junk" Drawer
3. Your Trunk

Let's put on our dancin' shoes and boogie, shall we?

My Garbage Can: Papa had just emptied the kitchen one so I thought I'd give you something a little more interesting than a while can with a white bag.




















I "made" this trash can from the tin popcorn came in over the holidays. The popcorn was done and J-boy couldn't bear to toss it so we reused it. How ecofriendly of us!


My "junk" drawer: I have several, but these are the drawers where I'm trying to consolidate the junk. I use a kitchen island to put my TV on in the livingroom. The island has two drawers that make dandy junk drawers.













The drawers are small so I need more than one. Papa says I should just decrease my junk rather than increase my drawer, but so far that just hasn't worked.


My trunk: When you have an SUV you don't get a trunk per se, you get a big open space that collects craporamma.














The box on the left is for all the returns I have to make. The box on the right is for stuff I have for my class. Two blankets for park trips. A thermal bag for trips to the grocery store. You can't see them, but there are park toys behind the piles of blankets.

Tell me that you played!

-E

Thirteen Thursday: My Pet Peeves

While Krisco is out of service this week I have taken liberty of designing my own Thirteen Thursday. Today you will get to hear me piss and moan about all the things that make me piss and moan.

My pet peeves:

1) When several packages (same kind of chips, mustard, laundry detergent) are open at one time. Use one up and then open the other.

2) Flyers, postings, CRAP left on the door of my house or the windshild of my car.

3) When Papa unplugs my cell phone from the charger to plug in his phone. Leave my phone alone!!

4) When someone excludes another person from a conversation while that person is standing right there! Good night, if it's a conversation that needs to happen on the down low, save it for later.

5) Dirty little socks left all over the house and the car. Keep them on your darn feet or put them in the laundry basket.

6) Spam. 'Nuff said.

7) People who come to a complete stop to make a right hand turn when their light is green. Keep the flow of traffic moving!

8) Sneaky people or at least people who think they're sneaky. Manipulative people, if you will.

9) When a store advertises a special and then doesn't have it in stock. For that matter when the store is out of stock period.

10) Gas prices.

11) People who have prolonged conversations or talk about highly personal stuff on their cell phone in stores, in lines, in restaurants. You are not the only person in the room and I don't care to hear about your last gynecological experience or the fact that you are in a fight with your significant other. It's distracting and you're not in a phone booth, I can hear what you're saying.

11) Long lines.

13) When I'm out of Diet Coke or I don't have time to stop by a Starbucks for beverage.

Did you play??

-E

He IS His Mother's Son

I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Look at that boy! What is he trying to tell us? He's just like his mama. She ain't got no class neither!




















Take heart though, there's probably hope for Critter yet. Instead of flipping everyone the one-fingered salute, he is in fact showing you his new acquisition.














Look, his brand new special Hello Kitty Band-aid. When he's really got a boo-boo no Batman or Clifford bandage will do. We must pull out Mommy's special HK Band-aids.

I don't know, he might very well be giving me the finger for making him have to look at the camera instead of Zoo Pets or whatever the hell that show is called.

-E

I Hate To Be A Downer...

...but I'm so sad!

I totally did not see this coming. Dana Reeve died! I knew she had lung cancer, but I went about my life thinking she'd be fine, all the best medical treatment, blah, blah, blah.

And then she dies!

As a mommy I am so worried about her son. Oh, I know he'll be just fine financially, but he lost both his dad and his mom in less that two years. That's enough to send anybody right over the edge. I know he's surrounded by friends and extended family, but it still makes me sad to think of his loss.

-E

The First Step Is Admitting You Have A Problem

I have a problem.

Seriously.

I've been shopping for my new spring wardrobe or at least updating what I have currently. My playground bitches tell me I need to get rid of the shorts that are waaaay too big on me and to add some bling to wardrobe. Okay, at least I have some direction now. It's sort of like the Mother's Day Out version of "What Not To Wear".

I go out armed with this advice and get a kick-ass outfit for my next mom's night out. Behold...




















A blingy, boobie shirt and boot cut jeans. When I showed the gals they were pleased and impressed. I even got two new pairs of shorts that fit in my shopping expedition. So far we're all giddy.

Then I see them...beckoning to me...calling me to take them home to their other friends...


















I just can't seem to turn away a good pair of flip-flops. I got the duck ones in the Dollar Spot so I felt perfectly justified in getting both pink and orange. Besides you can never have too many duck flip-flops. Am I wrong??

-E

SPF: March 3 (I couldn't think of a more creative title this early in the morning)

Here we go again. This week's SPF is truly the stuff of Random and Odd. Our assignment:

• your favorite jeans
• birthmark, mole or freckles
• your photo albums & where you store them

My favorite jeans:

I think I've referred them as 505's, but I stand corrected. They are 515's and they are awesome. They're a light material and soft. The only trouble is since I've lost just a smidge of weight, when my jeans get stretched out I can take them off without unbuttoning them. I've purchased another pair of jeans and they may be my new favorite, but the jury's still out on that decision.




















My mole:

Two for the price of one.

You get to see one of my moles (Papa calls them chocolate chips) and my sweet new sunburn. I had lunch with two of my Tiara Bitches at Shady Grove on Wednesday. It was nearly 90 friggin degrees and Shady Grove wasn't quite so shady. Papa says I've got to be the poorest excuse for a Mexican ever since I managed to get a sunburn on March 1, technically still winter.




















My photo albums and where I store them:

These are my scrapbooks. I use a different color for every year. It's a work in progress. I'm currently storing them on a bookshelf in my craft room. I need to prop them up since having the albums slouch is a scrapbooking sin.

















Woo hoo! Another SPF in the books! Did you play?

-E

Thirteen Thursday: Food, Wonderful Food

Welcome once again to Thirteen Thursday brought to you by the good folks over at crib ceiling. This is Krisco's attempt for us to all get to know each other a little better. So sit a spell and find out all about my food consumption habits.

1) I love the tomato basil soup at La Madeleine. I'm not a Frenchy-shee-shee kind of girl, but this soup is soooo good.

2) I love the chicken salad on a croissant from the Central Market Cafe. It has little bits of pineapple in for that sweet & savory taste that is scrumptious!

3) Also from Central Market, I adore the mango-papaya salsa. It has bits of red pepper, kiwi, serranos too. It's all mixed together and fantastic with chips. Yum-O.

4) The salad from Craig O's is so well put together. It's not a lot of ingredients, but the mixture is just right with the pizza. You must try it if you're in Austin.

5) The Bonzi Burger from Red Robin is one of my all time favorites.

6) The food at Casa Garcia's on William Cannon and Manchaca is yummy. This is Tex-Mex at it's finest. The chips and salsa are just right and the margaritas take away all the day's stress. Take note, the Casa G's on South Lamar is affiliated, but I think the one on William Cannon is better.

7) Papa makes the best bean and cheese nachos. He puts garlic, roasted onions, jalapenos and lots of cheese on them. BAM! They are so good!

8) It's a chain, but the best steak and skewer is at Logan's Steak House. Mmmm.

9) The best breakfast taco is at Juan in a Million. Order the Don Juan and be full all day.

10) Casa Maria's has the most awesome panaderia (bakery). They make pan dulce (sweet bread) fresh every day. The also custom make cakes. Casa Maria's is our favorite place to eat on Friday nights since it's great food and not nearly as crowded as some of the more touristy spots.

11) My mother-law makes the best carne guisada and tamales. She has these two meals mastered. She sells tamales during Christmas so let me know if you want to order.

12) Amy's Mexican Vanilla ice cream cannot be beat.

13) My mom makes wonderful cheese enchiladas. She makes them with onions and LOTS of cheese. Not exactly healthy, but oh, so good.

Did you play??

-e

Hola, Amigos!

My name is Chula. That's Spanish for cute. I got me a new boy human over the weekend. My brother, Hurley, whom I believe you all met earlier, is supposed to belong to the other boy human. J-boy belongs to me and Z-boy belongs to Hurley.

The thing is we both kind of like the Mama and the Papa humans too. That mama human is home most of the time and burns these really awesome smelling candles. She plays music and throws warm laundry on the sofa which is soooo cozy. Later in the day the boy humans come to the house and take us outside to roll around in the huge yard. Okay, maybe it's not huge, but when you're only 5 inches tall, let's face it, everything seems ginormous.

Hurley and I get a lot of comments that we don't look anything alike. Well, we are septuplets and our brothers and sisters are somewhere in the 'hood I'm told. Anyway, I look more like my dad, Quiero and Hurley takes after our mom's side of the family. Still he's kin and at least we're together. Hurely needs to brush up on his Spanish, but the humans seem patient.

Con mucho amor,

Chula

Queue Me Up

My Netflix queue is empty.

I find it hard to believe we've watched every movie out there that was worth watching. We've seen all the new releases. We just finished "Flight Plan" and "Wedding Crashers". I'm looking for suggestions that are a little off the beaten path. I'm even open to a really good Lifetime movie, but Papa may just gag.

So c'mon, help me fill my queue.

-E

Proper Flip Flop Style

Let's talk about the correct way to size flip flops.

I'm one of those people who fall into a half size, 7 1/2 if you're interested. I know the flip flop manufacturers suggest you go up a size if you fall in to the "half" group, but I don't know. When I go up I find I'm getting more of a shlep shlop than a true flip flop.

So the last time I went to Target I went ahead and bought a size 7. They fit fine, but my heel extends all the way to the end of the "shoe" (Papa prefers I put shoe in quotes because he doesn't understand how a flip flop can be considered a shoe by any stretch of the imagination). I fear it may look just small enough to be wrong.

What do you do?

-E, who thinks she wears a 7 1/4 in flip flops

Dude

Dude, my name is Hurley.

I'm living with these new humans and they're pretty cool, but dude, they're crazy. They have people, especially the little people, over, like, all the time. And they speak in this crazy language, you know, not like dog. Something that, dude, I just feel compelled to respond to when they speak to me. The lady says it's because my dad is like a Chihuahua, dude. She says I should speak, like, Spanish. The crazy thing is I totally understand what they're saying to me.

Dude.

*******************************************

E's note: Yes, ordinarily I am afraid of dogs, but I guess I should mention this particular dog is shown in actual size. No shit. This dog is 6.5" long and just at 4.5" high. Good mother of canines, the dog gets lost (LOST, get it??) in Papa's shoe!

A Lazy Blogger's Post

Someone sent it to me and now you get the benefit of my mass e-mail.

Welcome to the winter 2006 edition of getting to know your friends. What you are supposed to do is copy (not forward) this entire e-mail and paste it into a new one. Change all the answers so they apply to you and send this to a whole bunch of people, including the person who sent it to you. The idea is that you will learn a lot of little things about yourfriends that you probably didn't know already.

1. What time did you get up this morning? 3:12 a.m. and then again at 6:20 or so.

2. Diamonds or pearls? Diamonds

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Curious George

4. What's your favorite TV show? Lost

5. What did you have for breakfast this morning? potato, egg and cheese taco with a Pepsi One

6. What's your favorite cuisine? Mexican food

7. What foods do you dislike? Pork chops, cabbage, cauliflower

8. What is your favorite chip flavor? Cheetos - is that a "flavor"?

9. What's your favorite CD at the moment? A mix of Christian praise and worship music in the house and Ambrosia in the car.

10. What kind of car do you drive? Suburban

11. Favorite sandwich? Chicken salad on a croissant from Central Market. Yum!!

12. What characteristics do you despise? Self involvement to the point of narcissism. Passive-aggressive behavior. People who criticize e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g.

13. Favorite item of clothing? My Levi's 505 jeans

14. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? I'd take the kids to Disney World or to the Pacific Northwest

15. What color is your bathroom? Green with a calypso theme

16. Favorite Brand of clothing? Target brand. If I can't get it at Target, I just don't need it.

17. Where would you retire? Austin, Texas or Mexico

18. Favorite time of day? After the boys are in bed and the house is quiet

19. What was your most memorable birthday? My 34th was pretty good. My mom threw me a birthday dinner and lots of family came.

20. Where were you born? Austin, Texas

21. Favorite sport to watch? Football or basketball

22. Who do you least expect to send this back to you? Denise

23. Person you expect to send it back first? Jackie ** update ** actually Cassie sent it back first

24. What fabric detergent do you use? The kind that is splattered all over my garage floor.

25. Were you named after anyone? Sort of. My mom went to school with someone named my name who they called Shelley. My mom liked the name, but I don't know if she was necessarily naming me after that chick.

26. Do you wish on stars? No.

27. When did you last cry? Yesterday when I saw my first grader in his first school performance.

28. Do you like your handwriting? My signature is cool, but not the rest of the handwriting.

29. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you? Damn, straight!

30. Are you a daredevil? No, I'm a chicken. Hear me cluck.

31. Do looks matter? I suppose. I want to feel good about myself, but I don't care what other people look like.

32. How do you release anger? Walking, crying, talking

33. Where is your second home? My mom's house, my in-law's house, Lily's house, Di's house. If I've been to your home, I'm pretty much at home.

34. What class in High School was totally useless? Geometry

35. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Uh, no, because I'm just real sensitive like that.

36. Favorite movie? "Fools Rush In"

37. What are your nicknames? Lainey, E

38. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? You mean other people do?

39. Do you think that you are strong? About some things.

40. What\'s your favorite ice cream flavor? Amy's Mexican Vanilla

41. What are your favorite colors? Pink, Orange, Brown

42. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? The post-baby shape and my nose

43. Who do you miss most? My grandparents who died all before my children were born. Jenny K. who moved to Seattle. My family, who are still alive, all live in town so it's hard to really miss them.

44. Do you want everyone you sent this to send it back? if they want to

45. What color pants are you wearing? denim

46. What are you listening to right now? The boys watching SpongeBob.

47. Last thing you ate? a kolache

48. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Burnt orange

49. Last person you talked to on the phone? Lily

50. What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? eyes and bulging biceps

51. What's your favorite drink? Margarita, Diet Coke or vanilla latte w/ cinnamon, 2%, no foam, please

52. Do you wear contacts? Yes

53. Favorite Day(s) of the Year? The first spring-like day, warm, but not hot. Also the first chilly days after a hot summer.

54. Scary Movies or Happy Endings? Happy endings

55. Summer or winter? winter in the summer, summer in the winter

56. Hugs Or Kisses? Both

57. What Is Your Favorite Dessert? Tres leches...oh, hell, all of them!

58. What Book are you currently reading? Something by Ann Rule, I forgot the name of it

59. What's on your mouse pad? nothing, it's just purple

-E

SPF: Bedside secrets

This week Kristine, now located at her new residence since her recent blogger break-up, has asked us to show our SPF best. Or our best this week. So here's the assignment:

• the inside of your nightstand drawer
• a good book you’ve read
• your favorite lamp

The inside of my nightstand drawer: I don't have a drawer so you'll have to settle for the top of my nightstand table, which I'm sure you'll find equally scary. I have this thing about magazines. I think it's because it's the most time commitment I can make to reading material at the moment. Look at the pretty pictures and move on.

A good book I've read: As I mentioned earlier it's been awhile since I've given reading a good book a chance so here again we'll have to settle for just a book I've read. I usually donate all the books I've read so this is one book I just happed to still have in the house.


Yes, that is "Blair" from Facts of Life. It's a good book, but I don't agree with everything she says. I guess that's true of most books with me though. I take what I need and discard the rest.

My favorite lamp: My mom gave this to me and I sort of used it as an inspiration for other things I've purchased on my way to grown-up furniture. I was going through a shabby-chic phase for awhile and this lamp helped me make the break.

The outlet adapter and the Lego are the boy's nod to decor around this house.

Did you play??

-E

Thirteen Thursday: Week In Review

Today's Thirteen Thursday has us taking inventory of our week's activities. This is probably a good exercise for me since at the end of each day I find myself think "where the hell has this week gone?" So thanks Krisco for the reflection.

1. Found out my birth control pill had been recalled and went to the doctor for a supply of samples that actually would prevent pregnancy. Sheesh!

2. Kept a sick kid home from school and took said sick kid on errands with me. Oh and since he wasn't that sick we went to Le Madeleine for a cheese pizza for him and tomato basil soup for me.

3. Bought black pants and a white shirt with a collar for first grader's school performance.

4. Taught twelve 3 and 4 year olds how to make a Mardi Gras float.

5. Had dinner with my best friend from high school who was also my maid of honor. She is a criminal defense attorney so I gave her a dollar as a retainer, just in case.

6. Went and checked on my comadre's cat since her and her family were in Boston.

7. Had lunch with my mom.

8. Hosted three play dates for school and neighborhood kids.

9. Had a meeting about next year's program at my work.

10. Helped 18 first graders get their costumes on for dress rehearsal.

11. Made dinner 3 times.

12. Had dinner with the in-law's.

13. Ran to Target 3 times.

Tell me what you've done.

-E

Back By Popluar Demand

The BOOBS!

Amy was so disappointed to see my boobs taken off my profile that, for her, I've resurrected them.

No Way Back Wednesday today.

-E

Local Baker Babe

Someone from Austin is a finalist for the Pillsbury cookoff!

How cool is that?

I don't know if I'll like her recipe or if I'll give her my vote, but it only seems right to give the dish a try.

-E

Feliz Cumpleaños!

Just a shout out to wish my blogger bitch a non-hungover day. Happy Birthday to Mrs. Dallas K!! Today she celebrates the second anniversary of her 29th birthday.

Here we were celebrating her big 3-0 last year.

Yeah, booze was involved in this soiree as well. Imagine!

-E

I'm Inspired

I'm making some changes to my blog having talked with all the other bloggers last night. I'm keeping the address the same so that y'all don't get lost, but I'm thinking the look and feel don't reflect where I'm at right now. So I'm going to mix it up a bit.

Stay tuned for the fun and for the updates about last night.

-E

Fire In The Hole!

So I'm off to the Blowout with the other Blogger Bitches. I'm waiting for Beth to come get me and we'll meet up with the other BB's downtown. I'm so excited to see my old friends and meet some new ones! I have my camera with me and I'll post the pictures that are fit for public consumption when I get back. I can't promise I'll stay to the bitter end, but I'll bring you what I can!

Oh, and a very special middle finger salute to The Kept Woman who brought down the arctic air from Wisconsin. It's fucking cold tonight and none of my usual going out wardrobe will work. I personally think she did it so that her soul mate will have to be on air while she is in town. She's just like that you know.

Lots of bloggers have dropped out at the last minute, but I think it'll still be a blast, frozen asses and all!

The DHW

SPF: Glory Be!

Kristine wants to see our Stuff (PF) in its glory this week. Okay, you asked for it:

1. UNDER YOUR BED!
2. STEREO (do we still call them that?)
3. POTS AND PANS

Under my bed: All the organizational gurus say to use this space for additional storage. I'm thinking under my bed is not what they had in mind.















That is my boxed wedding dress under the bed. That dress looks like a satin and lace factory exploded. A decade and a half ago my grandmother told me I should save the dress for my daughter, which would have be a fine plan if I didn't have BOYS. Really does anyone believe my future daughter-in-law will want to wear even a portion of this dress someday? Even I can't delude myself about that notion.

Along with the dress are three Rubbermaid bins of crap I want to get up on Ebay. I just never seem to have the time. I should just donate all that crap, but I really, really want to sell it. It's a sickness.

My pots and pans: When I was pimping Pampered Chef a couple of years ago under the fascinating Mrs. Dallas K I was able to build up my culinary collection. I also have a ton of stones which is what I use for most of my oven cooking. Hmm, I only see one PC pan in there and a lid. Maybe a picture from the other cabinet would have been a better choice?





















My stereo: It's old, but it works. Mostly it's to play the kid's music. I think there are two Veggie Tales CD's and a Carrie Underwood CD in the disc player. I just don't get into all the new fangled music accessories. If I listen to music it's while I'm on the computer.


















There's my stuff. Did you show yours?

The DHW

A Blowout Warm Up

While I will still be attending the weekend's Blogger Blowout I think I will have to take it easy following tonight's debauchery. I went out with my mom friends to historic Matt's El Rancho for drinks and eats.

Really moms should get out on a regular basis or we just lose our better judgment. We're dancing in aisles, drinking mightily, and generally creating a nuisance of ourselves. We should be ashamed of ourselves!















DAMN, IT WAS FUN!!!

I could tell you what all we did, but then I'd have to kill you.

Muwahahahaha.


The not-feeling-quite-so DHW

Thirteen Thursday: Hangin' My Hat

It's Thirteen Thursday brought to you by the good folks over at Crib Ceiling also known as Krisco. Today we're 'fessing up to all the places we've called home over the years. I'm so sorry to disappoint, but my residential history is BORING. Still maybe you'll find out something new about me and isn't that the whole point?

1) Austin, Texas (1970-1975) - I was born here and when my mom met my step-dad we relocated to his homeland in Oregon. My family could NOT believe my 24 year old mother would pick up lock, stock and barrel to move across the country to a place no one of us had ever been before. Knowing what I know now, I can't believe it either. That took a lot of courage or a lot of naivete, however you want to look at it.

2) Eugene, Oregon (1975-1976) - We first moved to Eugene so my then mom's Significant Other (eventually my step-father) could finish school or something. I don't really remember living there much except that I had my 5th birthday party at this bad-ass place called Ferrell's. It was like TGI Friday with better food and the most awesome ice cream sundae that fed like 10 people! I wish I knew what happened to this place, because I would plan a vacation around going back to Ferrell's.

3) Los Angeles, California (1976) - My mom decided she wanted to go to court reporting school. There was a great place in L.A. where she was able to get Financial Aid so off we went without her S.O. in search of a trade. When she got to L.A. she realized school may have been paid for, but living was not. Apparently affordable and housing were mutually exclusive in the L.A. area even back then. So we came back down to Texas to regroup.

4) Austin, Texas (1976) - Moved back with what was in my mom's car and made the rounds with relatives. That was enough for my mom apparently who called her S.O. in Oregon. He asked her to come back and we made the cross country trip again, arriving in NW Oregon just in time for me to start school.

5) Wilsonville, Oregon (1976-1978) - truly a one horse town back in those days. No lie, there was only one traffic light in the whole town. There was one school k-8 and many of the grades were combined. For example my second grade class was also home to a handful of third graders. The moms came in every day to make hot lunches for the kids and deliver them to the classrooms.

6) West Linn, Oregon (1978-1983) - By this time my mom and step-dad were married and they bought a house and that is where I attended 3rd through 7th grades. Sometime during these years two things happened that brought us back to Texas. One, my mom and step-dad got divorced. Two, my mom's dad, my grandfather, was in a fire and was badly injured. A few years later he died as a result of his injuries. We were so far away it was very difficult to have this traumatic event happening and be so far away. The final event that led us home was my mom hurt her back. We were alone because our family in Oregon was her now divorced husband's family and that wasn't working. So we packed up our VW Rabbit with the cat and some plants and headed back to the Lone Star State.

7 - 13) Austin, Texas - (1983 - present) - We came back (everyone does). Our whole family is here except for a few that have ventured off, but they usually come back too. I really love living here in Central Texas. No, we don't know JR Ewing. No, we don't own a horse. Yes, I do have a Texas twang. I only wish we had a oil well in our back yard.



The DHW

WBW: Old Flames Die Hard

This is where a picture of an old boyfriend would be if I had one. A picture, that is, not an old boyfriend. I had a few of those, but I've been with Papa now for nearly half my life and the photos of former loves are MIA. Hey, we've moved, we've purged, we've moved again. Make note I'm the one that was happy to see those photos go. Papa wouldn't have cared and probably would have been intrigued (or found great humor). Really I have no desire to hold on to a picture of the Greatest Loser On Earth. Even now I shudder at the time he spent in my life. Still I consider that little life lesson well learned if only to know what I did NOT want in a mate.

I'm just sayin'.

The only other picture I had was an obituary of a guy I "went with" when I was in 8th grade. He too was a loser. Years later as Papa and I were having coffee whilest reading the Statesman I saw a memorium to the Other Loser, ahem, boyfriend. Not to speak ill of the dead, but then boyfriend was 19 when I was 14 and he was still hanging out with kids my age. Not in a perverted, child molester sort of way, but more of Peter Pan variety. Anyway, it seems he was lost in the Adriadic Sea some time in the late 1980's, early 1990's. Yikes! How depressing.

On a slightly different note, but not really if your stretch your mind, is there nothing better than sitting on the throne in the loo and finding one little square of t.p.? J-boy to me, "but Moooooommmmm, I wasn't the last one to use the toilet paper. Look there's some left!"

One fucking squre.

The DHW

What Mommy Does

I went up to the school today to have lunch with J-boy. He got to invite a friend to sit at the guest table. He tells his friend, "my mom has three jobs: taking care of me and my brother, taking care of the class and teaching." That's kinda sweet. I think to myself, he does get me.

Fast forward to afterschool. J-boy says to me, "what else did you do today besides have lunch with me, take brother to school, bring the stuff for Valentine's day, go to the grocery store and make the goodie bags my class?"

What else indeed.

The DHW

SPF: I Heart Love

Today's SPF is brought to you by Kami as she babysits for a hooky-playing Kristine this week.

~ What you love most about your home
~ What you love least about your home
~ What you love most about yourself

So let's play on...

What I love most about my home. I love that it's finally starting to grow up. For years we have lived in a home that looked first like a frat house after rush. All of our furniture had been put together with an alan wrench and was made of MDF. Classy. We've slowly given away, donated or burned all that dorm decor and are buying real furniture (at least in some of the house). Oh, and do ignore the piles of Valentine's crap on the the grown-up table. I am room mom for J-boy and therefore in charge of putting together V-day goodie bags for the kids to take home on Tuesday.
















What I (also) love about my home. This window looks out over the back yard. I am able to cook dinner without critters underfoot and still keep an eye on them. It's the next closest thing to heaven I've found. I turn my CD player on and watch my boys play on the swings, build car trails out of dirt and roll around in the grass with the dog and still get things done. It's awesome!




















What I love least about my home. The floor. I hate our floors. For a short time our home was a rental and so everything was done el rancho. The carpet is nasty. It's gray office carpet with no padding. I cannot even begin to imagine the ick that has accumulated over the past 7 years and 2 kids since we've moved back in this place. Then there is the tile. It's white shower tile on the floor. It's slicker than deer guts when wet and my boys have busted their ass on it more times than I can count. Finally we feel our kids are old enough that it's worth the investment of new floors so this spring we'll be taking the plunge.
















What I love most about me. My friends. I think they are a total reflection of my spirit, values, personality and humor. But that's the easy answer, no? And it's not really what I like about me. Okay, so I'll put modesty aside and throw my answer on the table: I'm smart.




















Now don't let the fact I put a picture of my degree up there mislead you. It has nothing to do with the fact that I have an education (my Comadre is about the smartest person I know and doesn't have a degree, yet I am totally in awe of what is rocking around in her mind). So again, it's not about the "formal" education, it has more do with the fact a picture of my brain is hard to come by and would, frankly, be oogy. I am not talking about book smarts anyway. What I'm talking about are things like I learn quickly, I retain information, information generally just clicks and when I do fuck up (and believe me I *do*) I learn from the mistakes. I am not afraid of public speaking (good thing since I worked with the media before I had kids) and I feel like I can communicate with people and help them see something they might not have seen without me.

The DHW, who has to love her mind since her body is in need of serious repair

Thirteen Thursday: Makin' The Bacon

Today's Thirteen Thursday is brought to you by Krisco. She's the lovely lady that gets us all knowing one another just a little bit better. And this week we are finding out about jobs of the past. I decided to exclude Mom from my list since it's the most obvious job of the last 7 years, but there is more to me than Mom. I know you're all dying to know. So I take you down my employment memory lane by way of oldest to most recent jobs.

1. Courtesy Clerk: That would be the fancy name for the person who bags your groceries and carries them out to the car for you. No, seriously. That job isn't just an urban legend. It used to be the CC's did actually put the groceries in your car instead of shoving the cart at you and telling you to have a nice day after they've smushed your bread and packed the rat poison with your organic bananas. For real.

2. Shoe Sales Person at Beall's Department Store: I really hated working in the shoe department. I was so glad when I got "promoted" to accessories. I met some nice people and got into trouble hanging with some of the girls. Good times. Anyway the cashier duties gave me the experience to move on to The Next Big Job.

3. Checker at Tom Thumb Page: I still think fondly on this job. I got tons of cash handling experience and it's where my love of accounting and seeing things balance begins. I had fun, dated the guy in the deli a few times and never had empty pockets over the summer. Hey, I was 17 years old and a making more than minimum wage. I thought I was living the life.

4. Bookkeeper at Jack Brown Cleaners: I ran all the tickets for each store every day. That is where I learned 10-day by touch and I was an adding fool. When I was hired to fill that position I heard through the grapevine the owner's son was not happy about it. Seems he thought the front office staff should be less, um...ethnic. Turns out in the end he liked me and gave me a few more opportunities to learn, which I took, but I never really got to like him because of how we started out. I saw him not too long ago and that man is bald. You know, I always say God don't like ugly.

5. Proof operator at SW Savings: Do you know where your check goes once you write it and the sales clerk processes it? It goes to the bank and the somewhere along the way the proof operator codes it so the money can move from one account to another. The operations side of banking is absolutely incredible. My 10-key by touch came in handy at this gig and gave me an idea of where I wanted to be someday which was out of the basement (that's where Proof was housed). I liked that job because it was independent work. You got your six bags of checks, coded them, balanced them and batched them. When you were done you left and put the full time on your timesheet. Now you know why I was so fast on that 10-key.

6. Research Associate: This would be a fancy name for "skip tracing". I worked to find people who owed the City money. I located people so that they could be sued. Don't you just get all warm and fuzzy thinking about it? It was like Intro to Bounty Hunter. Still, this is the job I absolutely the fondest memories of in my life. First it's because it's where I met a young and optimistic Papa and two because it was the first time I really felt I had a direction. Everyone I worked with was in school working towards something bigger. It was a great support.

7. Purchasing Clerk/Administrative Assistant: I took this job after I got married, before I finished school because I thought Papa has a degree, why do I need one? This job had one purpose and it was to teach me that I was destined for better things. I worked my ass off and got paid shit for it. The bitch of it was I would have never moved up this particular food chain because I didn't have a degree. Maybe that is not true, but what I saw was the girl who got hired for the same job as me at the same time as me do nothing each day except for sleep at her desk and got paid the same amount as I did. Those lessons best learned...

8. vault Teller: Another cool gig. Have you ever held over 100K cash in your hands? I have. As the vault teller in the drive-through the other tellers "bought" cash from my vault so I had all the loot. And I had to balance all that money at each close. That was another fun, independent job, but the City was calling me home.

9. Account Clerk: I processed some of the Accounts Receivable and Accounts Payable for the library. I held this job for several years because they worked with my school schedule even in those times when I had to do split shifts.

10. Accountant: I always thought it was dumb to call me an accountant. All I did was A/P for a State run program, managed by the City. This was a boring job. It was filled with a bunch of malcontents. Mostly I just wanted to work close to school my last semester of college. I graduated and totally changed career directions.

11. Public Information Specialist: This was my all time favorite job. I responded to media inquiries regarding City projects. I did on-camera and on-air interviews. I wrote press releases. I planned ribbon cuttings and community events. I wrote copy for City publications. I represented 5 departments. I was the youngest Public Information Specialist at the time and maybe since then. I learned on this job. I would have stayed forever, but after nearly three years of infertility I finally had a baby. I couldn't go back to work and leave him when I had to try so hard for him to even be here. I don't regret the decision one bit.

12. Director of Finance: The nice thing about working for a start up company is that you get a big title that doesn't mean diddly in the scheme of things. I made the most money at this job I ever made and I hated every moment of it. I thought I would have the best of both worlds because I had a home office and all the employees were spread out so we did things virtually. It didn't really work out well. My kids were still very young and the hours for this job were long and demanding. Since I was at home the work never went away. The guy I worked for was a screwball and acted like a child. I'm sorry, but no amount of money was worth putting up with his shit. Most of the people in his employ were being moved to Georgia to work on a huge project that meant a windfall for the company, but this Texas girl wasn't moving. So before we could have that conversation I closed out their books, fedexed the files and quit. I don't regret the decision one bit.

13. Program Specialty Instructor (Teacher): That's me. I teach 3 and 4 year olds two days a week in a Mother's Day Out program. I get to wear shorts and flip-flops with the employer provided t-shirts. I get to color and make crafts. I get to work with other moms and have built a community of support. The best thing is my Z-boy gets to come not only to my class, but to his own class that one of my dearest Mommy friends teaches. And it's all at no charge to me. I feel this job has been a total blessing to my family. It's not a high paying gig, but I am sooooo happy. Can't beat that!

Are you still here? Props to you for sticking around this long. This was good for me and not just because it was free therapy. So pop on over to Krisco's blog and play next week.

The DHW

A River Runs Through It

A river of laundry detergent.

It seems my liquid laundry detergent decided to commit suicide in my absence and threw itself off my dryer. Its innards are all over the floor. We scooped a good portion of it off the floor, but we were at a loss as to how to get the rest of goo off the floor. Mostly we just scooped and dumped it all into a bucket, but since all this muck fell on concrete and it's porous welp, I was just f---ed. Fortunately my Comadre was over to have dinner thinking we'd have a nice relaxing evening eating pizza and watching LOST. Instead she spend the better part of her 4 hour visiting shoveling fresh clean glop off my floor with me. Is that a friend indeed or what?

And despite the hysterical laughter of a woman gone mad (oh wait, that was me) I still had the wherewithal to grab my camera knowing I would blog this moment. That there econo-size detergent container was empty. I just bought it. Unloaded the bugger out of my paddle wagon right before the kids and I took off to the park.

You know the pain of all this doesn't even end at getting the stuff off the floor. First we had to disconnect the washer and the dryer to get behind them and clean. Then I had to use ever towel in the house to sop up detergent so when I went to take a shower this morning, you guessed it NO towels! I had to dry with a friggen washcloth. All of my papers that were to be shredded are now saturated in Tide knock-off. My throw rugs are goopy as are the piles of clothes that were waiting to be laundered. There is enough detergent in each article of clothing to wash 6 loads so I'm having to wash one or two items at a time or end up in a bubbly mess.

How very I Love Lucy.

Anyway, if you've wondered where I've been - and I know you have - that's what has been keeping me out of the bars. I'll be back soon with all my charming anecdotes, don't you worry a bit.

The DHW, who will return to the store to buy *powdered* detergent that can be swept up and tossed into a trash can should we have a detergentcide epidemic in our home

SPF: Drunko, Sweet Connections and Digital Days

This week's SPF is all about games - mind and otherwise. The lovely Kristine over at Random and Odd has asked us about:

1. A game YOU play/ed
2. Your family game. (if you have a story about a game you use to play as a kid...that would be cool too!!)
3. Your Games.

A game I played: That would be Bunko (or Bunco, however you spell it in your parts). I started playing with my mom's club a few years ago and it's a great deal of fun. Okay, getting together to drink, chat and possibly win a few bucks is actually the fun part, but the game is pretty cool too. Now that I have a new set of moms getting together once a month I'm going to see if I can convince them to start Drunko...um, I mean Bunko again.

Our family game: Connect Four has a special place in my heart since it's one of the first games I wanted as a kid, but didn't get. So my kids got it so I could repair my childhood heartbreak whether they wanted it on not. As it turns out J-boy likes the game, but Z-boy prefers to just annoy his big bro and wreck the game. Which leads us to the unbeatable game of sibling rivalry.

Our games: The only games that seem to matter around here lately are the ones that have buttons and cartidges. We're a Gamecube/Gameboy household. The kids are hooked and even their circle of friends are on the Nintendo bus, Gus. There doesn't seem to be anyway to get away from it. The music and the beeps drive me bananas and I don't get the games. Fortunately Papa and M down the street keep an eye on what the kids are playing so I know it's all good, even if I don't what all it is.

Weehoo I played! How about you?!

The DHW

I Love A Parade!

We were in a parade this weekend with all the other Scouts in the Central Texas area. Our den got to ride in a old Army vehicle. It was fun if not a tad bumpy. Still no complaints since a bunch of the kiddos were walking the 12 blocks up and 12 blocks back. Believe you me we were grateful.




Next year I hope we can get the big Duckmobile for the parade unless some other Scout has all the connections.

The DHW

Yahell!

What is up with Yahoo?

First I'm not getting my messages. Then I'm told I can't sign in because my browser is rejecting something or other. Umm, nothing has changed! Now when I reply to a message I have to put in a character string for verification. Enough! It's pissing me off. Sending e-mail should not be this hard!

The DHW

WBW: Don't Be Fooled By The Rocks That He's Got...

It don't mean a thing if you ain't got that ring, baby.

In preparation for my son's lucrative career as either a rapper or a jewelry sales man I have him modeling my bling. I wish I had some older photos for offer today for The Kept Woman, but my photos are in a state of organizational chaos.

My most recent Christmas present. It's supposed to be good luck to wear your spouses birthstone so I got two little peridots on the side of my amethyst which represents the month we started dating. We've been together 16 years sometime this month (don't tell Papa, but I don't remember the date).

My college class ring. I was so thrilled to be done with school that I got the ring that screamed "I'm finished" the loudest. Papa bought it for me as my graduation gift and I still love it.

My wedding ring set. I got married before platinum was the rage so I have the gold that was popular circa late Dynasty. I'd love to have the stone reset, but I'm saving the two bands for my boys. They each get one when I die. I'm just sentimental like that.

Happy Way Back Wednesday!

The DHW

I Must Confess

I've been using these workout DVDs and I love them! It just seems so hokey to workout in my living room, particularly since I have a free gym membership with my work. The problem is it doesn't matter what time I go in they always put me to work. I could be on a treadmill, in the middle of a workout, on my own time and they will call me to the phone or ask me just one question.

LEAVE ME THE FRICK ALONE!!!

So at my leisure I have used these videos and have had some results. Mostly just an increase in energy level, but I gotta start somewhere, no? They're verrrry easy and I don't feel like Bambi on ice when I'm Walking Off the Pounds.

Anyway if you're looking for something uberintro level give these DVDs a try. I got mine through my DVD swap thing-a-ma-jig, but I'm sure they have them on half.com or ebay.

The DHW

Well, Hmmm

I've been invited to a mom's night out by one of the moms of a student in my class. It sounds like fun because, hey I'm a mom, but I'm not sure about socializing with parents of students. Is it taboo? Keeping in mind it is just a Mother's Day Out program, but still parents get a little weird when it comes to their kids. I play a dual roll since I'm not only a teacher, but also a parent in that my Z-boy is in the program too.

Whacha think? I replied to the evite that I'd go and I do need a night out desperately, but I don't want to get backed into a corner about how the program could be different or other sensitive topics. Papa thinks I'm worrying waaaay too much and I should go without over analyzing it. After all, he points out, I shared a bottle of wine (or two) with J-boy's teacher earlier this year and lived to tell about it. Yeah, I lived to tell about the wine drinking session, but the whole office staff knew about it the next day and I lost my Professional Mommy reputation. *sigh*

The DHW, now known as Party Mommy in the PTA circles (is that bad thing?)

SPF: Crafting, Creepy and Crinkling

Today Kristine give us the following assignment for Stuff Portrait Friday:
Your Toys
Your Secret
Your Eyes

Hmmm. This was kind of a toughie for me. I am tempted to put my kids toys up here because God knows they're all over the flipping house. Still this blog is supposed to be more about me. Boring! Okay, so here's what I came up with

My toys Just a small sampling off all the scrapbooking, card-making, paper crafting crap I own and use. I could've said this was my secret, but really it's just more of a sickness and Papa knows all about it so it ain't much of a secret.

My Secret: My comadre tells me these socks are creepy. I think they're fabulous! I fully expect Kami will fug-flog me for these, but they're so warm and cozy, dammit it's worth the price. I have tile in my home. I am a native Texas with thin blood (thought that's the only thing thin about me). I get cold easily! I need something to keep my tootsies warm.

My eyes: I do NOT like this assignment. My eye area is in serious need of a brow wax and pluck to speak nothing of the tiny crinkles forming around said eyes. So you've been warned...

Didja play??

The DHW

Creative Discipline?

Tonight the boys were fighting and resorted to hitting one another. Papa tells them both to take a time out, one on one wall and one on the other wall. Then Papa tells them that they will stay there until they hug each other and tell the other they love the other. Or what, inquires J-boy. Or you'll sit there until you do.

Stand off.

Fine thinks Papa. Then he tells them they better hurry up and make up or he's going to make them hug, say I love you AND sing the Barney "I love you, you love me" song.

They're now playing nicely in the living room.

I had to leave the kitchen table before I busted out laughing while Papa was doing a fine job at being the disciplinarian. I wonder what he'll come up with when they're teenagers. You know he does love his petty tortures.

The DHW

LOST in Love

I love the TV show LOST.

Seriously.

I. Love. This. Show.

Papa and I Netflixed the whole first season and have spent our last two weekends watching 25 episodes to get caught up. He got the podcast of the first 11 episodes of this season and we're watching them on the computer one episode a day.

DO NOT TELL ME WHAT HAPPENS.

I am DVR-ing (is that a word??) all the episodes I don't have downloaded and I am determined to be caught up by the time the season finale parties begin.

The DHW

A New Way To Cook A Pig

Papa is looking for a new way to bring home the bacon. Really it's about time. He's qualified in so many other areas and the burnout rate at his most recent gig is high. He's last much longer than most.

The thing is he's so fragmented about what he wants to do. One day he wants to be a business man, the next day a clown. Okay, not really, but you get my drift. He's just not focused. Every time some new idea comes up he's hopping down that bunny trail. I want him to pick something and stay with it. I would prefer he stay out of social services as it pays for crap, but I don't think he'll ever get this whole son-of-a-preacher-man identity out of his system. His desire to help the masses is often frustrating.

Maybe it's a mid-life crisis or something? Fine, but get over it already!

The DHW

Scotchguarding The Giraffe

Yesterday we went to a party at Toys R Us. Nothing like a bunch of 4-7 year olds running around the store screaming "Happy Birthday" at the top of their collective lungs. This party seems to be the place of preference for the mommies in my crowd since TRU does every thing and the grown ups get a chance to talk.

When Geoffrey came to say hi to the kids J-boy went up to give him a big hug. Then J-boy pulled back and said to the big guy, "oh, sorry about the drool there, Geoffrey". Nice. This comment was a source of great amusement to the birthday boy's dad. At least J-boy was polite as he left his DNA all over the mascot, no?

The DHW

Update On The Dawgs

I have no idea what happened to them.

We came back from the Pinewood Derby (a Scout thing for those of you not in the know) and the dogs were gone. Just gone. Hmmm.

Papa had left a note on the neighbors door that very gently outlined the issue saying he just wanted to bring it to their attention. He didn't sound at all pissed (unlike my rantings) and his tone was quite neighborly. He offered to talk with them about it in person or over the phone, but so far they've declined.

Now the dogs are gone.

The DHW, who should feel bad, but doesn't

We Knew It Was Coming

J boy has his well child visit today. Asthma is doing better. Good. Still the doctor dropped on us that it's time to have his tonsils removed. We knew it was going to happen, but the speed in which things are moving is a tad frightening for me. We go to the ENT next week and possibly surgery the week after.

Ugh.

I know it's better to do it now. I know he'll feel better once it's done. I know, I know, I know...

I also know I'm scared out of my pink Nikes.

The DHW

This Shit's Bananas B-A-N-A-N-A-S

The neighbor in back of us have their dogs penned up. I think they did it because the neighbors to the side of us complained about one of the dogs jumping the fence into her yard. Now behind (heretofore referred to as the butt neighbors) have the dogs in all-sides enclosed cage right up on our side of the fence. The bigger more aggressive dog - read the jumper - is kicking the shit out of the other dog. All day long for the past three days we've heard bark, bark, growl, yelp, cry.

Papa called animal control today and they said he could talk to the butt neighbor, but if it wasn't resolved over the weekend they were going to send someone out on Monday. He went round yonder and left a note to call him, but so far nada. Just more bark, bark, yelp kinds of shit.

That dog is fucking nuts. Seriously he goes bat-shit if he hears any movement. My boys go to our backyard at will so it sets the dogs off. Hell this morning the dogs were barking while I was drinking my coffee and checking out my Statesman.

I hope this doesn't become a huge battle, but it's not nice to those dogs (especially the one cowering in fear of the other one) and it sure as hell isn't nice for us to listen to it all day. Damn butt neighbors.

The DHW

Four Things........

Cassie tagged me so I gotta give it up. Here are more fabulous and fascinating things about The DHW you wish you never knew.

Four jobs you have had in your life
1. Teller
2. Accountant
3. Public Information Specialist
4. Preschool teacher

Four movies you could watch over and over
1. Fools Rush In
2. Sleepless in Seattle
3. Little Women
4. Beauty & The Beast

Four places you've lived
1. Austin
2. Wilsonville, OR
3. West Linn, OR
4. Los Angles, CA (but my mom says that doesn't really count since it was only about 6 weeks)

Four TV shows you love to watch
1. Law & Order: SVU
2. Medium
3. What Not To Wear
4. Arrested Development

Four places you've been on vacation
1. Hawaii
2. San Francisco
3. Disneyworld
4. Portland

Four websites you visit daily
1. G-mail account
2. Yahoo
3. Google
4. Blogs

Four of your favorite foods
1. Enchiladas Suizas
2. Chips & Salsa or queso
3. Le Madeline Tomato Basil Soup
4. Red Robin Bonzi burger

Four places you'd rather be right now
1. Scrapbook supply shopping
2. Sitting mindlessly in front of the t.v.
3. Vacation
4. Hanging out with friends

Four Bloggers you are tagging
1. Everyone
2. No one
3. Someone
4. Other one

Let me know if you played!!

The DHW

SPF: Burnt Orange Style

It's Friday! So time for another intstallment of SPF brought to you by Kristine. Today's assignment is stuff of reality t.v. - makeover style. This time we pay homage to our Texas Longhorns, National Champions, thankyouverymuch.

BEFORE

Here are the margaritas we drank from kick off to half time. Orange margaritas taste twice as yummy laced with victory.

AFTER

We're getting closer to half time here and I'm feeling very burnt orange. Fortunately I was not the one driving home so I was able to partake of all the margaritas I desired (and clearly I desired a few).

MY NEW FAVORITE THING

Doesn't this bag kick ass? The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize. Okay, ordinarily I don't buy into that hooey, but how can you *not* believe in that statement when you look at this fun little holder of crap?

Did you play?

The DHW

Seven Years Ago

I gave birth to my first baby boy! Today my J-boy turns 7. He had a great day! Papa took him a special birthday lunch at school and I took him to Build A Bear after school. For dinner grandma & Mac made the family, some 20 of us, a fajita dinner then we had cake and ice cream. J-boy once again cleaned up in the toy department.

For this desperate housewife the holiday season is now officially over!

Whew!

The DHW

Hook 'Em Horns!

Texas Longhorns National Champions! My beloved Longhorns are #1. We are prepping our boys to bleed burnt orange. This photo was taken back in 2001 and we'll get a new family shot in front of the tower on Friday night!

Now both kids can give the hook 'em horns sign it will be a great family photo.

The DHW

Frickin' A

Yesterday as I got out of the shower I heard the doorbell ring. My kids were in the living room watching The Backyardigans and I forgot to flip the top lock they can't reach and therefore can't open the door. So I wrap the towel around me and venture out to the hallway and hear children's voices. J-boy...okay. Z-boy...check. R., the kid around the corner...ummm, not pleased, but okay. Then what do my ears tell me? Another voice...a girl's voice. What? I call J-boy to my room and ask who is here and he tells me R. and his little sister C. His little 4-year-old sister, C.

Me: You mean they walked around the two blocks by themselves to get here?

J-boy: No, R. rode his motorcycle [read: the motorized mini cycle that is illegal on the street and for kids under 12].

Me: Ooookay. [brain kicking into damage control mode] They can stay for five minutes and then we have to go run errands.

[To myself: I have nothing planned until 2 p.m., but I can find something to do]

J-boy: Okay, Mommy, I'll set the timer.

So I'm thinking as I'm getting dressed at lightening speed, where the fuck was their mother that she let the 6-year-old bring his 4-year-old sister over here to play? Then it hits me. Oh, she's at home alright, but she's sleeping. She took a new job working from 3-11 p.m so the kids are pretty much on their own in the morning while dad is at work (he's in construction so that means sun up to sun down work schedule). My guess is she was tired and told the kids to go play over at the DHW's house.

Here is the thing... I AM NOT PROVIDING FREE CHILD CARE.

I have chosen to stay at home with my kids, at great financial sacrifice I might add, so that I could care for *my kids*. My kids. MY kids. MY KIDS. I don't know how to make that any clearer. And while I totally get and sympathize with the plight of the working-outside-the-home mom, I would appreciate a similar understanding and consideration for my position. A phone call to check to see if it's okay if her kids come over. A little notice perhaps? Not this assumption, nay expectation, that I'm home anyway and it won't be any trouble at all.

FUCK THAT SHIT.

Yes, I'm very good with kids. I do care for children at my MDO program and I have a well established community of you-take-care-of-mine-I'll-take-care-of-yours moms. I like having kids over to play, however that doesn't mean I want to be the house everyone sends their kids to when they need a nap, to run to the grocery store or visit the gynecologist. You see the difference?

So all of you who read this ranting of mine, first of all bless you, and then how do you stop this madness? I sent them home, but under the pretense of we had to go somewhere. However, I shouldn't have to feel like I'm locked out of my own house in order to keep parents from sending me their kids.

Damn.

Double Damn.

The DHW, who's spell check hadn't yet learned the works "fuck" and "shit"

Bah Humbug!

I'm so over this holiday season. I would be happy if I never saw another little matchbox car again. They got about 20 and they're all over the livingroom floor. Papa took down that tree and boxed it up today while my mom and I hit a few of the after Christmas sales. And might I add I wasn't all that impressed with what was out there in terms of sales? Well, that's not entirely true. My mom bought be 4 bottles of Electric Reindeer White Zinfendel at World Market...gotta love that purchase!! That stuff is soooo good. Me and mommy polished off a bottle at Christmas dinner.

Anyway all the tinsel and crap is on my dining room table waiting to be boxed up and tucked away for another year. I purged quite a bit that I've decided just isn't my style. I went through a brief phase in decor which I call Country Bumpkin Chic. Yet another thing I'm SO over.

The DHW

Merry Christmas

We spent the day celebrating the birth of baby Jesus. We baked a cake, sang happy birthday and opened presents all for Him. At least that's our spin on it. I never quite got how the tradition of Santa Clause, etc got all comingled with Christmas, the birth of Jesus, but I figure the fact that it has gives me creative license to make of it whatever suits out family.

My favorite gift has been my Container Store pantry door stuff.

I can not believe how much it expands the space I have in my pantry. It is truely awesome. No, really it doesn't take much to get me all a-twitter. I did a few other odds and ends, but I didn't want for much this year. The boys were lavished upon by family and friends, though J-boy didn't get the one Big Gift he asked for this year. The thing of it is, buddy, your birthday is just 10 days after Christmas so we kinda gotta spread the love, ya know? The gift was was ordered and is on it's way in anticipation of said birthday, but no it wasn't under the tree. We'll just consider it a life lesson in dealing with disappointment.

One thing we did do on Christmas Eve was take some presents, donated by area agencies to Papa's work, to some of Papa's clients. Our boys got to see first hand how much need there is out there, in some cases very close to home. I'm not trying to bring them down for the holidays, but I do want them to recognize, though not rich in dollars, we are very blessed. Papa's work allows our kids the unique opportunity to see beyond their world and grasp that poor and starving isn't just across the ocean, it's right here a few miles down the road. J-boy got it, but he's a little older, and it's all about layers of life lessons, not shoving it all down their throat at once, I know.

To that end though, I feel the need to simplifiy the season. There is too much pressure to outdo each year. The truth is this Christmas we got our kids very little and still they have more than they can possibly play with over winter break. We have so many family members who have all given gifts to my boys that it seemed like a waste to throw more money at things they could not possibly remember through the haze of the other gifts. I know for some families they want to do it up big for the holidays and I respect that, but I've decided not to buy into the whole big gift = love-my-kid-more school of thought that retailers perpetuate.

I'm just saying no to all the emphasis on one day of gift giving. Thank you for your support.

The DHW

Perhaps You've Noticed

I'm all out of order. Somedays you show up and there are 5 new posts. Then other days you come back and nothing. What gives? Well, I'll tell you, I have great intentions of keeping up. I dutifully start my post about whatever the topic of the day is and then hell breaks wide open. I get a barrage of questions from the little ones or interrupted by Papa and so much for my keeping on task. So when I have time I come in and finish the posts I started.

I'm a little different that other posters. I'm able to work on my blog only when Papa is at home. He tends to the boys and I get some time alone...just me and my computer. That's when I'm struck with all these wonderful and witty thoughts.

At the moment I have 5 posts in queue. That means you could possibly read some facinating tale just below something you've already seen! It's like Christmas every week of the year!

Okay would you settle for it keeps things interesting and keeps you on your toes?

The DHW

Revelations

This year my inlaws are taking a new approach to the gift giving season. I've already mentioned BIL's declaration of not celebrating with us this year. Now we have a new chapter.

So far several members of my husband's family has provided us with a gift card or cold hard cash and asked us to buy for our boys, wrap it up and put it under the tree from the money giver. When my MIL first proposed this to us I'll admit I was on board. I knew my kids needed some winter clothing and with my knack for finding bargains I figured I could make that money go a long way. We even managed to put the overage into savings for the boys. Since we didn't want them to be totally bummed with getting clothes we added a little toy to each of the boxes as a salve to the jeans, long sleeved shirts and jacket.

Two days ago my SIL called and asked if she could get the boys a gift card. Yeah, that would be great! Then other BIL said he was giving cash. Just dandy. Later when Papa called them and said that we would be getting the boys something small, but nice and putting the rest into savings his sibs were none too thrilled. They wanted something *fun* for the boys.

Alrightee...

Hey folks, it's not like I'm recovering from the week from hell, complete with a trip to urgent care for a nasty case of strep throat. I've lost four days of productivity and I'm feeling it. You feeling *me*? I do not have the time nor the inclination to battle these rabid last-minute shoppers and clearly neither did you since you've put the burden of gift buying on me. I don't mind telling you it adds more stress to the pressure of the season.

So in the frenzied midst of Target this evening while trying to find something "fun" I had a revelation. By God, I'm doing what I want. And what I want is to get the boys something small and put the rest in savings. If they have other ideas as to what my boys should get for Christmas then perhaps they ought not give us the money and buy the gift themselves?

I'm not trying to be a PITA here, really I'm not. I've just made an executive decision regarding my children and I know not everyone will be please. The complaint line forms to the back of room. Please take a number.

The DHW

I Am The IT Girl

It seems the psycho-SAHM has tagged me. I knew it was coming - you can't keep tagging a crazy person and not expect some retaliation, no?

Seven Things to Do Before I Die (not in order of importance):
1. Go on an Alaskan cruise.
2. Pay off my student loan.
3. Travel across the lower 48 states in my RV. Go RVing, baby!
4. Be a part of some sort of charitable foundation. Doing what or for whom I have no idea.
5. Finish my scrapbooks.
6. Write down all our family recipies.
7. Offer an apology to anyone I have wronged (even if only to say I'm sorry they felt that way).

Seven Things I Cannot Do:
1. Give up meat in my diet.
2. Pay full price for things.
3. Pretend I like someone when I do not.
4. Go back to work full time while my kids are young.
5. NOT forgive someone.
6. Be a participant on Fear Factor.
7. Make a snap decision.

Seven Things that Attract Me to My Spouse/Romantic Interest (not necessarily in order):
1. His quiet and yet warped sense of humor.
2. The fact that he speaks Spanish.
3. He is a provider, not just financially, but emotionally and spiritually too.
4. His absolute commitment to family.
5. He's a total people person...fascinating!
6. He is persistent to the point of tenacious.
7. He puts up with me!

Seven Things I Say (or write!) Most Often:
1. Yeah
2. Y'all
3. Okay or mmmkay
4. Seriously
5. ... (yes, the ellipsis, I use it waay too much...stolen from psycho herself)
6. Folks
7. So

Seven Books (or series) I Love:
1. The "Little House on The Prarie" Books
2. The "Lucky" series by Jackie Collins...total trash, but I love it
3. "Belinda" by Anne Rice writing as Anne Rampling (A. know you love it!)
4. Ann Rule true crime books
5. Scrapbooking idea books.
6. Stephen King writing as Richard Bachman
7. The Lottery Rose

Seven Movies I Would Watch Over and Over Again:
1. Fools Rush In
2. When Harry Met Sally
3. Legally Blonde
4. Sleepless In Seattle
5. Little Women (old version)
6. Como agua para chocolate
7. Breakfast Club

Seven People I Want to Join in: (be tagged)

I'm taking The Kept Woman's approach on tagging - everyone and no one. If you played let me know. If you're looking for something to get your blog post quota filled this is the best game around.

The DHW

Inlaws and Other Headaches

My BIL has decided that his family will not be celebrating Christmas. His words.

Yeah, um, okay...what exactly does that mean? Since he's in doing full time missionary work I take it to mean that it's not an issue of celebrating the birth of Jesus. Does that mean "I'm not getting you gifts, but feel free to get me one?" or does that mean nothing? Nada. I asked for clarification, but have yet to receive any which leads me to believe that I don't think even *he* knows.

I guess it's that he doesn't want to get all hepped up on the commercialism? I dunno. The thing I wonder, selfishly I'll admit, where does that leave the rest of us? Am I to assume that means he is not giving gifts and doesn't want any? Okay fine, but what about his little girl? I mean not celebrating whatever is a personal choice and I just don't think his daughter is going to get why all her cousins are getting something and she's not. That's just too much to ask a child to understand. I'm not trying to ornery...well, maybe a little...but I'm getting her a gift anyway. They can call it a "we love you just because you're you gift" for all I know or even care. But it will be wrapped in festive holiday paper.

The DHW

Clap Your Hands If You Believe

I try not to post a whole lot about the kids here on this blog, but this story is just so blogworthy that I had to tell it. Feel free to move on to your next read if you don't want my gooey kid story.

****

You know that part in the movie Peter Pan when Tinkerbell's light goes out because Wendy doesn't believe? Well Papa and Z-boy were watching TV in bed on this ice day and Z-boy started to cry about Tinkerbell. Not that scared or obvious cry, but a sad, sappy movie sort of cry. Papa asked Z-boy if he was okay and he said "my eyes just itch, that's all dad." Papa told him is was okay to be sad about Tinkerbell and Z-boys exclaimed "Dad..."!

I started crying too it was so sweet.

The DHW

WBW: Snow You Say

This week The Kept Woman has asked us to show her our snow pictures. Well, I live in the land of the sun so there ain't much of that happening. I'll give you what I got though...

There I am in the snow on Mt. Hood in Oregon. We stayed at Timberline Lodge. I love this place and I can't wait to take my kiddos back there for their own fun. If you've ever seen The Shining the outside shots were taken at Timberline Lodge including the scary ax-wielding Jack Nicholson chasing Shelley Duval in the snow scene. Good stuff...

Here is a picture of the last time we had snow in our backyard. It was Valentine's Day 2004 and the boys thought it snowed just for them. Who am I to tell them different? You can see we just had tons of the powdery white stuff. You folks in Colorado better watch out!

Here is our most recent inclement weather photo. We had an ice day this month complete with the obligatory closing of schools. Of course this being Texas everything melted by day's end and all the children were back to their routine quickly.

Stay warm!

The DHW

Making Up for Lost Time

As I understand it Blogger was down recently. That's why I am late posting. Um, yeah, that's what I'm going with...

So I've been tagged again. This time the rules are: Post 10 Weird and Random facts about yourself, then at the end of the list the names of 5 people who are next in line to do this.

1. I broke my collarbone when I was in 5th grade. It was over spring break so no fun for me.

2. The first boy I ever "went with" was Eric Sparwasser. He broke up with me after I cleaned out my piggy bank to take him to the arcade with MY $8 worth of change. There's a place is hell for dogs like him.

3. The thing that first attacted me to my husband was the fact he spoke Spanish.

4. My wedding vows were recited in both English and Spanish so that everyone there could understand.

5. I once worked as a telemarketer for a whole 3 hours. I never went back; not even to collect a check.

6. I am a notary public.

7. My grandfather was the first Mexican police officer on the force in our town. After he left the force he went on to work for the Capitol police. He received the Carnegie Medal of Heroism after the Capitol fire in the early 80's.

8. I have the rock my Z-boy busted his head on over the summer. I use it as a paper weight.

9. I miss my cat, Loki. He died about 8 years ago and there's never been an animal I've like as much as him.

10. I am a basket fanatic. I love little baskets full of my crap, etc.

My next tags are:
Jackie
Krisco
Amy
Delaine
Beth

The DHW

What's The Word

"I thought this looked like fun . . .

Describe me in ONE WORD...just one word!"

I sent this out via e-mail to several people who do actually know me IRL. I was surprised at the answers. I got about 6 "fun" descriptions, a "calm", a "witty" and a "brave". I'm shocked at what people see in me, because honestly I don't see it.

So here's your chance to put your two cents in about The DHW and what you think she's all about. Be kind...please.

The DHW <---- a tad fearful of what may be revealed here

Christmas Card Chaos

Every year I have these big plans for Christmas cards. I usually want to get all four of us in the picture, but so far that plan has been foiled at every turn. Anticipating the calendar turning over to December 1 leads me to believe I need to toast my dreams of the cozy family picture and just get something - anything - out there to family in friends. So as night begins to fall I took my two protesting children out to the backyard, slapped a santa hat on each of their heads and forced them to smile so Mama could get all her ho, ho, ho, holiday cheer out the frickin' door.

Thank GOD for digital cameras and online photolabs. The whole deed was done in 15 minutes. They're not what I planned, she says as she her suffers perfection DT's, but the cards are done. Since most of you out there in blogville aren't on my Christmas card list you get my masterpiece(s) sans the decorative boarder and seasonal sentiment, but I wish you all the best!

So whacha doing for your holiday cards?

The DHW