What Happens When You Leave Your Digital Camera In The Reach Of Small Children

They take their own pictures. This one for example...



Can't figure out what this is a picture of in this shot?

How about this one?



This is a picture of "Catty". The Caterpillar. Yep, the boys went and found themselves one of God's little creatures and brought it's fuzzy ass into my house. The set up a fishing line for the insect's enjoyment and captured the moment digitally.

Want to know the VERY best part? They put the caterpillar in jar, complete with leaves, twigs and other insect accouterments, and didn't close the top securely. The next morning "Catty" was gone.

We never did find him.

E

New Years Goals

I've decided not to do the whole weight resolution. I'm just not there yet. Still I have so many other things I can resolve to do so here goes...

1) To stay on budget. Last year I created a budget - what a concept! This year I resolve to manage our money and be good stewards of what has been given to us.

2) To ride my bike. I finally got a helmet so I can set a good example for the kids so now I have no excuse. Of course, I haven't committed to a specific time or place to ride so I'm not so sure how this resolution will go.

3) To scrapbook at least once a week. I have tons of materials and tools and I need to use them. To that end I will not buy any more supplies (see resolution #1) until at least April 1 (Q2). I hope to get some friends to scrapbook with me during the day while the kiddos are in school, but we shall see. Either way I will commit to getting my pages caught up.

4) To have people over to our house. This goes to making relationships in the real world. As much as I value the people I "know" online I have to make an effort to keep in touch with the people in my world. There are people I'd love to get to know better and that means face time. It is inconvenient to create relationships, but no mom is an island so I gotta reach out.

5) To work on feathering my nest. I have a list of goals and projects I want to accomplish. I have little line item in my budget and Papa and I have identified one home improvement project a quarter. The first goal is to replace 2 light fixtures and add an outlet to the front of the house.

6) To drink more water. I'm really bad about living on coffee and diet coke so I must make this change!

Allrightee! There's my plan in blog. Anyone else want to share their resolutions?

-e

Day Three and Counting

Today marks the third day The Negotiator has been home sick. He doesn’t even appear to be on the mend. He’s been running a fever since Monday night. This morning Papa clocked him at 101 once the Motrin wore off. Crap. He’s itchy, but doesn’t have chicken pox. There were about 8 known cases of chicken pox in his school, but this isn’t it. We’re trotting back to the doctor today.

I’ve been out of work this week too. I’ve done some work from home, but I miss being around the other teachers. I miss our playground time. Of course the weather has been pretty crappy so there wasn’t any playground time on Tuesday.

I’m trying to get caught up at home. It just seems mail, laundry and dishes multiply at an alarming rate. I did laundry on Monday and I have 3 spanking new loads to do on Thursday. The paperwork, oh, the paperwork. I curse the mailman everyday he brings be more crap to slog through. It’s bad enough that I’m on every junk mail list in the commerce driven world, but so is my family. I get mail for at least four members of our family each week. Oh, and let us not forget John Smith’s correspondence. A few years ago when Papa was working at That Agency I had our number listed under John Smith so as to not be detected and still not have to pay for a non-published number. Well, Mr. Smith gets a lot of mail still. I’m not complaining, mind you. He gets some awesome coupons in the mail that I feel obliged to use on his behalf. After all what is Mr. Smith going to do with a free pair of panties from Victoria’s Secret? Wait! Don’t answer that.

I need to catch up with my Scouts. Dates and places have changed for activities and I have to pass that information along. I’ve not been a very good leader this last week. That thought is mitigated by the fact that I have been a pretty darn good teacher this week. All of The Negotiator’s schoolwork has come home and I’ve been going over it all with him. When he has energy we try to knock out a few worksheets and I’ll read to him or he’ll read to me. Then we take a break and go our separate ways until it’s time to come back and take care of a little more business. He seems to retain information better in small amounts. Makes sense to me. I think most people do not learn well under the Camel school of learning.

Okay, off to call the doctor. Y’all come back now, ya hear!

-e

The Tears of A Clown

I guess that clown would be me except I’m scared shitless of clowns. The fear stems from “Poltergeist” the movie. Ruined clowns for me forever, but I digress. Still the title fits my mood.

Okay, maybe “The Tracks of My Tears” would be better.

I had my parent-teacher conference with The Negotiator’s teacher today. Papa couldn’t make it so I met him for lunch right after and boo-hooed so much through the meal he went back to work, wrapped up and came home. It seems our boy is falling through the cracks. He’s not Talented & Gifted which neither of us could give a flying fandango about and he’s not low performing so he’s just expected to keep up. The problem is there is no problem. He’s not a discipline issue. He’s quiet and sweet and empathetic, but he works too slow. How is that remedied in the classroom? If his work isn’t complete he loses recess and gets a warning. A warning about what? To stay on task. And how does that warning help him other than to crush his spirit and tatter his self esteem? It’s just a reminder to keep up, I'm told.

Bottom line? He’s falling behind and if he doesn’t learn to work faster third grade is going to devour him. Third grade?! Why aren’t we just getting what we need out of second grade? It seems his handwriting is bad and he won’t be able to learn cursive if it doesn’t improve.

He doesn’t complete his worksheets so he doesn’t get free time. He’s one of the last ones sitting at his desk. When he doesn’t finish his work he has to take it home to do at night. I asked him why he doesn’t finish and he says he doesn’t understand and he doesn’t want to disturb the teacher to ask for help. I also found out he *finally* got to try a computer site he’s been waiting to have a turn at and he didn’t know how to log on so he just sat there for his whole 15 minute turn. Again, why don’t you ask for help? He tells me he raised his hand, but the teacher didn’t see him. He’s so timid about asking for anything. No matter how much we assure him that asking is a good thing he won’t ask. I think he fears the rejection. When he was in Kindergarten and 1st he was terrified to ask the teacher if he could go to the bathroom. Papa had to go school a couple of times to make sure that The Negotiator was sure about the routine. He finally got it after 4 weeks, but he would still hold IT if there was any break in the routine.

I don’t blame the teacher. She has several rambunctious kids she is dealing with so she’s doing the best she can with what she’s got. She says she loves The Negotiator, but she hasn’t found a way to get through to him. Join the club. He just doesn’t learn the same way the other kids do. He takes longer to process, but when he does get it he GETS it. The teacher just can’t wait for him. Damn. Add to that the more they push the more he withdraws. It’s a vicious circle.

You’ll be proud to know that I didn’t actually cry in front of the teacher. I managed to keep my dignity together long enough to cry my eyes out at lunch with Papa and this afternoon with a friend. I’m looking into my options, but I think I know where I am headed.

Thanks for letting me cry this out again. There is nothing worse than feeling like your child is struggling and not in a good, he’s-growing-from-the-challenge sort of way.

-e

Volunteeritis

No, not volunteerism. That’s when you find something you believe in and donate your time and talent to the cause. What I’m talking about is the need to volunteer because I’m a control freak. What I’m talking about is a sickness.

Someone is out sick at work and you need a back up? Sure.

The class doesn’t have a room parent? No problem. Oh, both of my kids classes need a room parent? Right on it.

Can I speak at the next meeting? You betcha!

Will I draft the flyer for the upcoming event? Absolutely!

Say it with me, “no, thank you”. Yeah, if I could say that I wouldn’t be here complaining and feeling frenzied right before I have the first of two meetings and picking up an extra shift in an area I don’t usually work.

I do love helping out! I do! Still I know my motives are not completely altruistic. I’m trying to control what I can. Control is my comfort. Not that I want to control other people, just the situation.

I’m working on it.

-e

Who Are YOU?

I picked up The Critter and The Professor from school this afternoon. The Critter gets out about 10 minutes earlier because the school tries to get the little ones through the crowds and on the bus before the "bigger" kids let out for the day. So we're hanging out on the picnic benches at the front of the school and Critter is playing tag with his new pals.

To my right someone comes to sit down beside me and puts a sticker on my shirt. I turn almost abruptly, but catch myself. Holy CRAP! It's The Professor. I swear he grew in school today. I didn't even sense him let alone recognize him.

He's growing up.

It's breaking my heart.

-E

The Golden Cheesecake?

Went out with the moms again. Sort of a gathering of what is left of our sanity after having sent our young off to school. I didn't bring a camera, but if you're really interested in all the broughaha you can check our Crystal and Candy for more information.

I'm going to use my moment to discuss The Cheesecake Factory. Good night their food is expensive. Was it that expensive the first time we went? I was thinking it was a fairly good location for all who would be in attendance, but yee haw it was pricey. For one drink, a shared appetizer and a dessert I shelled out $30. Gadzooks!

I think next time I'm going to stick with Bunco potluck so as to keep the cost of a MNO to a minimum. You can get friends together to eat, drink and chat without having to take out a second on the house, no?

-E

Time Junkie

I spent my Serene Sunday crying to my husband of how sick I am of the kids being home and how I can't wait for school to start. I was upset because I didn't have any time to have a consecutive thought or have any sort of order to this madhouse. Then I felt terrible because I felt that way. I'm their mom, for goodness sake! The sound of their noises should be music to my ears, but it just makes me crazy. Not all the time, but enough time over these last 12 weeks that the constant sound it wearing on me. I sound nuts.

My big plan was to start running again, but that hasn't happened. What do I do with the kids as I'm running away the stress? Not to mention in Texas it's just too HOT in August to run except for early in the morning or late at night. There are people out on the trail and in the neighborhoods running so I know my reason is just an excuse. So what I actually have been doing is just giving up. I become Floppy Mommy and let them do what they want so long as it keeps the peace and some semblance of silence in my house. That of course, leads to more disorganization and chaos. At this last week of summer it's become a matter of picking my poisons.

Both of the boys will be in school this year. The Negotiator will be in second grade and The Critter will be in Kindergarten. I've been getting a lot of - probably unintended, but there none the less - pressure to go back to work full time. It's comments like, "I saw a job that you'd be perfect for in our employment listings" or "what are you going to do with all that time once the boys are in school?". Um, that is when I hope to get my life back. I really was considering going back to work to increase our income, but with the stress of afterschool care, summers, sick days, conferences days and the like it isn't worth it to me or Papa. I know he's been able to advance faster in his career (read more income) in part because he IS able to stay later, take on special projects and responsibilities without worrying about the kids. The flip side of that is that a huge portion of the home front responsibilities are on me. That can make for a very squirrelly mom.

I wish I had a longer range goal than getting through the first few weeks of school. I know that I won't work in a traditional job outside the home because of the conflicts we feel it brings to the home for our family. That assessment may just be a matter of habit on our end. People adapt and I'm sure moms that work full time outside the home make adjustments in their own way. This just works for us.

Listen to me! I'm always justifying staying home! And to whom? Not to Papa. His mom stayed home so this is the way it *should* be to him. Okay, back to what I was saying, I would like to find a way to do something creative that could be parlayed into additional income (and the tax benefits of self employment). So far I can't even manage to get the few things I have to sell off a few of the things I have put aside for Craigslist and eBay.

*sigh*

I'll let you know if it gets easier once they are both out of the house for several hours at a clip. You know the crazy thing about time is that the more you have, the more you crave. I used to have a few hours each week when The Critter was in MDO, but now I want more, more, more! I'm a time junkie looking for fix.

-e

School, Car Crap and a Little Hanging On By A Thread

School is about to start around these parts. We've been spending our time getting supplies together, cleaning out our wardrobes, and filling in the blanks. I started back to stuff with the PTA and Scouts already. Makes the actual start of school seem almost anticlimactic. Well, no, there is still the pure joy of having both the boys in school and a house to myself for at least 3 days a week. I can finally tend to those piles that I am putting off until "someday". It seems "someday" starts Tuesday.

Papa and I are sharing Scout duties this year. He did a great job last year, but I am definitely the planner and organizer of the two. He is by far the better executer of tasks. We will each go with our strengths and have a kick-bum den. That's the plan anyway.

I took my truck in for her wellness stuff. Let me say the down side to not having a car payment is having repairs. Still and all, the damage to my wallet was much less than a new car so I'm okay, once Papa talked me down from my invoice-shocked ledge. My truck is purring like a kitten and I'm going to get her a bath today. She'll be all ready for school too.

I am ready for my kids to go back to school. I know, I work with kids, and I'm really excited to start back with them. I'm ready to get a break from my own kids. Y'see as a teacher I get the best of the little darlings. They listen, they don't back, the follow instructions (for the most part) and the follow rules (again, for the most part). To my own kids I am mom and I do not get the benefit of adoring students. We have spent a lovely **voice dripping with sarcasm** past eleven weeks enjoying each other's company. I think it's all time we made friends our own age. Do you know how much I miss being able to just run into a store? The battle of "can I take my gameboy in to the store with me?" every time we go anywhere is about to undo me. Not to mention during the summer I work less and spend more so my budget could do with getting back on a routine too.

-E

He's Frickin' Killing Me!

The Critter sees me getting ready for my class this fall. I'm busy making name tags, cubby tags, t-shirt and all the other fun stuff that comes with a new year. I'm buying new toys and planning new crafts and games.

The past week or so The Critter looks at me with those big brown eyes and tells me in a quivering voice he doesn't want to go to Kindergarten. He wants to stay with me in my class. And of course, since he IS my baby, I want him to stay with me too!

*sob*

-e

Sometimes You've Just Gotta Face The Facts

I had big plans this summer. I was going to save money, get organized, take care of some home improvement tasks on my list, and finally start that project with my friend, J. Big, big plans.

I've done nuttin'.

It's just too hard with the boys home. "Mommy, can you read to me?" "Mommy, can you make me a snack?" "Mommy, can we put away the laundry before the pile crushes my little brother while he plays on the floor near the couch?" It's always something.

The other goal was to cook at home more. We've done really well up until this past week when the temperature went past the century mark. I'm sorry, it's just too damn hot to cook sometimes. We made a run for the boarder and picked up burgers this week. Baaad mommy! Bad, bad mommy! In my defense, I gave Papa the option of cooking, but he wasn't having none of that. In fact, he's the one that boogied through the drive-thru on the way home. So there!

I've been busy with work and my new boss (yipee!) told me to take it easy until Monday or I was going to burn myself out. True dat. I love the new boss. He was promoted from within and the new management team is kick-ass. Things are getting done! I work four blocks from where I live so I want to stay there as long as possible. With the price of gas any more money I could make somewhere else would only be sucked up by petro. They're flexible with my working hours, the perks have been great and they're really supportive of outside commitments. There are times of the year when I have to put in more, like this past week, but hey at least I have the flexibility to get it done. I haven't worked this many hours (43 in 15 days) in a loooong time. Remember I'm a part time employee. That's okay I could use the extra bucks, which brings me to what else we've been up to.

School supplies.

Lawdy, this is a process I think I'm going to get down to a science and I never do. Apparently there is going to be a drought on glue sticks because there are none to be found at Target. I'm having to go to a bunch of different stores to get the list. Then the boys want to add their own stuff to the cart. "But, honey, you don't *need* and electric pencil sharpener. The list says an enclosed manual one." No avail. So there are fresh arguements at every store. No, you can't buy a toy here." "No, we're not getting another video game." "I'm sorry you left your money at home, but I'm not giving you any money for that $3 piece of crap that will break promptly after we leave the store" (Okay, the last part of that I said in my head, but you know you would have thought it too).

All this has me thinking that I should face the fact that I'm not going to progress as far as I hoped. I think we might be at a place where more things get done with the boys in school. Oh sure there are more commitments added to the mix, but I have 6 solid hours of boy-free time. Quite a bit can be accomplished without the constant interruption. That makes me feel better. Nothing like procrastination to keep you moving forward with your denial.

So that's why I haven't been around much. I'll try to be better.

-E

He Sleeps

This is the only time The Critter is still. He helped me clean all of his "action figures" yesterday and now he has the love all around him.

Thanks for indulging me!

-e