I Must Confess

I've been using these workout DVDs and I love them! It just seems so hokey to workout in my living room, particularly since I have a free gym membership with my work. The problem is it doesn't matter what time I go in they always put me to work. I could be on a treadmill, in the middle of a workout, on my own time and they will call me to the phone or ask me just one question.

LEAVE ME THE FRICK ALONE!!!

So at my leisure I have used these videos and have had some results. Mostly just an increase in energy level, but I gotta start somewhere, no? They're verrrry easy and I don't feel like Bambi on ice when I'm Walking Off the Pounds.

Anyway if you're looking for something uberintro level give these DVDs a try. I got mine through my DVD swap thing-a-ma-jig, but I'm sure they have them on half.com or ebay.

The DHW

Well, Hmmm

I've been invited to a mom's night out by one of the moms of a student in my class. It sounds like fun because, hey I'm a mom, but I'm not sure about socializing with parents of students. Is it taboo? Keeping in mind it is just a Mother's Day Out program, but still parents get a little weird when it comes to their kids. I play a dual roll since I'm not only a teacher, but also a parent in that my Z-boy is in the program too.

Whacha think? I replied to the evite that I'd go and I do need a night out desperately, but I don't want to get backed into a corner about how the program could be different or other sensitive topics. Papa thinks I'm worrying waaaay too much and I should go without over analyzing it. After all, he points out, I shared a bottle of wine (or two) with J-boy's teacher earlier this year and lived to tell about it. Yeah, I lived to tell about the wine drinking session, but the whole office staff knew about it the next day and I lost my Professional Mommy reputation. *sigh*

The DHW, now known as Party Mommy in the PTA circles (is that bad thing?)

SPF: Crafting, Creepy and Crinkling

Today Kristine give us the following assignment for Stuff Portrait Friday:
Your Toys
Your Secret
Your Eyes

Hmmm. This was kind of a toughie for me. I am tempted to put my kids toys up here because God knows they're all over the flipping house. Still this blog is supposed to be more about me. Boring! Okay, so here's what I came up with

My toys Just a small sampling off all the scrapbooking, card-making, paper crafting crap I own and use. I could've said this was my secret, but really it's just more of a sickness and Papa knows all about it so it ain't much of a secret.

My Secret: My comadre tells me these socks are creepy. I think they're fabulous! I fully expect Kami will fug-flog me for these, but they're so warm and cozy, dammit it's worth the price. I have tile in my home. I am a native Texas with thin blood (thought that's the only thing thin about me). I get cold easily! I need something to keep my tootsies warm.

My eyes: I do NOT like this assignment. My eye area is in serious need of a brow wax and pluck to speak nothing of the tiny crinkles forming around said eyes. So you've been warned...

Didja play??

The DHW

Creative Discipline?

Tonight the boys were fighting and resorted to hitting one another. Papa tells them both to take a time out, one on one wall and one on the other wall. Then Papa tells them that they will stay there until they hug each other and tell the other they love the other. Or what, inquires J-boy. Or you'll sit there until you do.

Stand off.

Fine thinks Papa. Then he tells them they better hurry up and make up or he's going to make them hug, say I love you AND sing the Barney "I love you, you love me" song.

They're now playing nicely in the living room.

I had to leave the kitchen table before I busted out laughing while Papa was doing a fine job at being the disciplinarian. I wonder what he'll come up with when they're teenagers. You know he does love his petty tortures.

The DHW

LOST in Love

I love the TV show LOST.

Seriously.

I. Love. This. Show.

Papa and I Netflixed the whole first season and have spent our last two weekends watching 25 episodes to get caught up. He got the podcast of the first 11 episodes of this season and we're watching them on the computer one episode a day.

DO NOT TELL ME WHAT HAPPENS.

I am DVR-ing (is that a word??) all the episodes I don't have downloaded and I am determined to be caught up by the time the season finale parties begin.

The DHW

A New Way To Cook A Pig

Papa is looking for a new way to bring home the bacon. Really it's about time. He's qualified in so many other areas and the burnout rate at his most recent gig is high. He's last much longer than most.

The thing is he's so fragmented about what he wants to do. One day he wants to be a business man, the next day a clown. Okay, not really, but you get my drift. He's just not focused. Every time some new idea comes up he's hopping down that bunny trail. I want him to pick something and stay with it. I would prefer he stay out of social services as it pays for crap, but I don't think he'll ever get this whole son-of-a-preacher-man identity out of his system. His desire to help the masses is often frustrating.

Maybe it's a mid-life crisis or something? Fine, but get over it already!

The DHW

Scotchguarding The Giraffe

Yesterday we went to a party at Toys R Us. Nothing like a bunch of 4-7 year olds running around the store screaming "Happy Birthday" at the top of their collective lungs. This party seems to be the place of preference for the mommies in my crowd since TRU does every thing and the grown ups get a chance to talk.

When Geoffrey came to say hi to the kids J-boy went up to give him a big hug. Then J-boy pulled back and said to the big guy, "oh, sorry about the drool there, Geoffrey". Nice. This comment was a source of great amusement to the birthday boy's dad. At least J-boy was polite as he left his DNA all over the mascot, no?

The DHW

Update On The Dawgs

I have no idea what happened to them.

We came back from the Pinewood Derby (a Scout thing for those of you not in the know) and the dogs were gone. Just gone. Hmmm.

Papa had left a note on the neighbors door that very gently outlined the issue saying he just wanted to bring it to their attention. He didn't sound at all pissed (unlike my rantings) and his tone was quite neighborly. He offered to talk with them about it in person or over the phone, but so far they've declined.

Now the dogs are gone.

The DHW, who should feel bad, but doesn't

We Knew It Was Coming

J boy has his well child visit today. Asthma is doing better. Good. Still the doctor dropped on us that it's time to have his tonsils removed. We knew it was going to happen, but the speed in which things are moving is a tad frightening for me. We go to the ENT next week and possibly surgery the week after.

Ugh.

I know it's better to do it now. I know he'll feel better once it's done. I know, I know, I know...

I also know I'm scared out of my pink Nikes.

The DHW

This Shit's Bananas B-A-N-A-N-A-S

The neighbor in back of us have their dogs penned up. I think they did it because the neighbors to the side of us complained about one of the dogs jumping the fence into her yard. Now behind (heretofore referred to as the butt neighbors) have the dogs in all-sides enclosed cage right up on our side of the fence. The bigger more aggressive dog - read the jumper - is kicking the shit out of the other dog. All day long for the past three days we've heard bark, bark, growl, yelp, cry.

Papa called animal control today and they said he could talk to the butt neighbor, but if it wasn't resolved over the weekend they were going to send someone out on Monday. He went round yonder and left a note to call him, but so far nada. Just more bark, bark, yelp kinds of shit.

That dog is fucking nuts. Seriously he goes bat-shit if he hears any movement. My boys go to our backyard at will so it sets the dogs off. Hell this morning the dogs were barking while I was drinking my coffee and checking out my Statesman.

I hope this doesn't become a huge battle, but it's not nice to those dogs (especially the one cowering in fear of the other one) and it sure as hell isn't nice for us to listen to it all day. Damn butt neighbors.

The DHW

Four Things........

Cassie tagged me so I gotta give it up. Here are more fabulous and fascinating things about The DHW you wish you never knew.

Four jobs you have had in your life
1. Teller
2. Accountant
3. Public Information Specialist
4. Preschool teacher

Four movies you could watch over and over
1. Fools Rush In
2. Sleepless in Seattle
3. Little Women
4. Beauty & The Beast

Four places you've lived
1. Austin
2. Wilsonville, OR
3. West Linn, OR
4. Los Angles, CA (but my mom says that doesn't really count since it was only about 6 weeks)

Four TV shows you love to watch
1. Law & Order: SVU
2. Medium
3. What Not To Wear
4. Arrested Development

Four places you've been on vacation
1. Hawaii
2. San Francisco
3. Disneyworld
4. Portland

Four websites you visit daily
1. G-mail account
2. Yahoo
3. Google
4. Blogs

Four of your favorite foods
1. Enchiladas Suizas
2. Chips & Salsa or queso
3. Le Madeline Tomato Basil Soup
4. Red Robin Bonzi burger

Four places you'd rather be right now
1. Scrapbook supply shopping
2. Sitting mindlessly in front of the t.v.
3. Vacation
4. Hanging out with friends

Four Bloggers you are tagging
1. Everyone
2. No one
3. Someone
4. Other one

Let me know if you played!!

The DHW

SPF: Burnt Orange Style

It's Friday! So time for another intstallment of SPF brought to you by Kristine. Today's assignment is stuff of reality t.v. - makeover style. This time we pay homage to our Texas Longhorns, National Champions, thankyouverymuch.

BEFORE

Here are the margaritas we drank from kick off to half time. Orange margaritas taste twice as yummy laced with victory.

AFTER

We're getting closer to half time here and I'm feeling very burnt orange. Fortunately I was not the one driving home so I was able to partake of all the margaritas I desired (and clearly I desired a few).

MY NEW FAVORITE THING

Doesn't this bag kick ass? The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize. Okay, ordinarily I don't buy into that hooey, but how can you *not* believe in that statement when you look at this fun little holder of crap?

Did you play?

The DHW

Seven Years Ago

I gave birth to my first baby boy! Today my J-boy turns 7. He had a great day! Papa took him a special birthday lunch at school and I took him to Build A Bear after school. For dinner grandma & Mac made the family, some 20 of us, a fajita dinner then we had cake and ice cream. J-boy once again cleaned up in the toy department.

For this desperate housewife the holiday season is now officially over!

Whew!

The DHW

Hook 'Em Horns!

Texas Longhorns National Champions! My beloved Longhorns are #1. We are prepping our boys to bleed burnt orange. This photo was taken back in 2001 and we'll get a new family shot in front of the tower on Friday night!

Now both kids can give the hook 'em horns sign it will be a great family photo.

The DHW

Frickin' A

Yesterday as I got out of the shower I heard the doorbell ring. My kids were in the living room watching The Backyardigans and I forgot to flip the top lock they can't reach and therefore can't open the door. So I wrap the towel around me and venture out to the hallway and hear children's voices. J-boy...okay. Z-boy...check. R., the kid around the corner...ummm, not pleased, but okay. Then what do my ears tell me? Another voice...a girl's voice. What? I call J-boy to my room and ask who is here and he tells me R. and his little sister C. His little 4-year-old sister, C.

Me: You mean they walked around the two blocks by themselves to get here?

J-boy: No, R. rode his motorcycle [read: the motorized mini cycle that is illegal on the street and for kids under 12].

Me: Ooookay. [brain kicking into damage control mode] They can stay for five minutes and then we have to go run errands.

[To myself: I have nothing planned until 2 p.m., but I can find something to do]

J-boy: Okay, Mommy, I'll set the timer.

So I'm thinking as I'm getting dressed at lightening speed, where the fuck was their mother that she let the 6-year-old bring his 4-year-old sister over here to play? Then it hits me. Oh, she's at home alright, but she's sleeping. She took a new job working from 3-11 p.m so the kids are pretty much on their own in the morning while dad is at work (he's in construction so that means sun up to sun down work schedule). My guess is she was tired and told the kids to go play over at the DHW's house.

Here is the thing... I AM NOT PROVIDING FREE CHILD CARE.

I have chosen to stay at home with my kids, at great financial sacrifice I might add, so that I could care for *my kids*. My kids. MY kids. MY KIDS. I don't know how to make that any clearer. And while I totally get and sympathize with the plight of the working-outside-the-home mom, I would appreciate a similar understanding and consideration for my position. A phone call to check to see if it's okay if her kids come over. A little notice perhaps? Not this assumption, nay expectation, that I'm home anyway and it won't be any trouble at all.

FUCK THAT SHIT.

Yes, I'm very good with kids. I do care for children at my MDO program and I have a well established community of you-take-care-of-mine-I'll-take-care-of-yours moms. I like having kids over to play, however that doesn't mean I want to be the house everyone sends their kids to when they need a nap, to run to the grocery store or visit the gynecologist. You see the difference?

So all of you who read this ranting of mine, first of all bless you, and then how do you stop this madness? I sent them home, but under the pretense of we had to go somewhere. However, I shouldn't have to feel like I'm locked out of my own house in order to keep parents from sending me their kids.

Damn.

Double Damn.

The DHW, who's spell check hadn't yet learned the works "fuck" and "shit"

Bah Humbug!

I'm so over this holiday season. I would be happy if I never saw another little matchbox car again. They got about 20 and they're all over the livingroom floor. Papa took down that tree and boxed it up today while my mom and I hit a few of the after Christmas sales. And might I add I wasn't all that impressed with what was out there in terms of sales? Well, that's not entirely true. My mom bought be 4 bottles of Electric Reindeer White Zinfendel at World Market...gotta love that purchase!! That stuff is soooo good. Me and mommy polished off a bottle at Christmas dinner.

Anyway all the tinsel and crap is on my dining room table waiting to be boxed up and tucked away for another year. I purged quite a bit that I've decided just isn't my style. I went through a brief phase in decor which I call Country Bumpkin Chic. Yet another thing I'm SO over.

The DHW

Merry Christmas

We spent the day celebrating the birth of baby Jesus. We baked a cake, sang happy birthday and opened presents all for Him. At least that's our spin on it. I never quite got how the tradition of Santa Clause, etc got all comingled with Christmas, the birth of Jesus, but I figure the fact that it has gives me creative license to make of it whatever suits out family.

My favorite gift has been my Container Store pantry door stuff.

I can not believe how much it expands the space I have in my pantry. It is truely awesome. No, really it doesn't take much to get me all a-twitter. I did a few other odds and ends, but I didn't want for much this year. The boys were lavished upon by family and friends, though J-boy didn't get the one Big Gift he asked for this year. The thing of it is, buddy, your birthday is just 10 days after Christmas so we kinda gotta spread the love, ya know? The gift was was ordered and is on it's way in anticipation of said birthday, but no it wasn't under the tree. We'll just consider it a life lesson in dealing with disappointment.

One thing we did do on Christmas Eve was take some presents, donated by area agencies to Papa's work, to some of Papa's clients. Our boys got to see first hand how much need there is out there, in some cases very close to home. I'm not trying to bring them down for the holidays, but I do want them to recognize, though not rich in dollars, we are very blessed. Papa's work allows our kids the unique opportunity to see beyond their world and grasp that poor and starving isn't just across the ocean, it's right here a few miles down the road. J-boy got it, but he's a little older, and it's all about layers of life lessons, not shoving it all down their throat at once, I know.

To that end though, I feel the need to simplifiy the season. There is too much pressure to outdo each year. The truth is this Christmas we got our kids very little and still they have more than they can possibly play with over winter break. We have so many family members who have all given gifts to my boys that it seemed like a waste to throw more money at things they could not possibly remember through the haze of the other gifts. I know for some families they want to do it up big for the holidays and I respect that, but I've decided not to buy into the whole big gift = love-my-kid-more school of thought that retailers perpetuate.

I'm just saying no to all the emphasis on one day of gift giving. Thank you for your support.

The DHW

Perhaps You've Noticed

I'm all out of order. Somedays you show up and there are 5 new posts. Then other days you come back and nothing. What gives? Well, I'll tell you, I have great intentions of keeping up. I dutifully start my post about whatever the topic of the day is and then hell breaks wide open. I get a barrage of questions from the little ones or interrupted by Papa and so much for my keeping on task. So when I have time I come in and finish the posts I started.

I'm a little different that other posters. I'm able to work on my blog only when Papa is at home. He tends to the boys and I get some time alone...just me and my computer. That's when I'm struck with all these wonderful and witty thoughts.

At the moment I have 5 posts in queue. That means you could possibly read some facinating tale just below something you've already seen! It's like Christmas every week of the year!

Okay would you settle for it keeps things interesting and keeps you on your toes?

The DHW

Revelations

This year my inlaws are taking a new approach to the gift giving season. I've already mentioned BIL's declaration of not celebrating with us this year. Now we have a new chapter.

So far several members of my husband's family has provided us with a gift card or cold hard cash and asked us to buy for our boys, wrap it up and put it under the tree from the money giver. When my MIL first proposed this to us I'll admit I was on board. I knew my kids needed some winter clothing and with my knack for finding bargains I figured I could make that money go a long way. We even managed to put the overage into savings for the boys. Since we didn't want them to be totally bummed with getting clothes we added a little toy to each of the boxes as a salve to the jeans, long sleeved shirts and jacket.

Two days ago my SIL called and asked if she could get the boys a gift card. Yeah, that would be great! Then other BIL said he was giving cash. Just dandy. Later when Papa called them and said that we would be getting the boys something small, but nice and putting the rest into savings his sibs were none too thrilled. They wanted something *fun* for the boys.

Alrightee...

Hey folks, it's not like I'm recovering from the week from hell, complete with a trip to urgent care for a nasty case of strep throat. I've lost four days of productivity and I'm feeling it. You feeling *me*? I do not have the time nor the inclination to battle these rabid last-minute shoppers and clearly neither did you since you've put the burden of gift buying on me. I don't mind telling you it adds more stress to the pressure of the season.

So in the frenzied midst of Target this evening while trying to find something "fun" I had a revelation. By God, I'm doing what I want. And what I want is to get the boys something small and put the rest in savings. If they have other ideas as to what my boys should get for Christmas then perhaps they ought not give us the money and buy the gift themselves?

I'm not trying to be a PITA here, really I'm not. I've just made an executive decision regarding my children and I know not everyone will be please. The complaint line forms to the back of room. Please take a number.

The DHW

I Am The IT Girl

It seems the psycho-SAHM has tagged me. I knew it was coming - you can't keep tagging a crazy person and not expect some retaliation, no?

Seven Things to Do Before I Die (not in order of importance):
1. Go on an Alaskan cruise.
2. Pay off my student loan.
3. Travel across the lower 48 states in my RV. Go RVing, baby!
4. Be a part of some sort of charitable foundation. Doing what or for whom I have no idea.
5. Finish my scrapbooks.
6. Write down all our family recipies.
7. Offer an apology to anyone I have wronged (even if only to say I'm sorry they felt that way).

Seven Things I Cannot Do:
1. Give up meat in my diet.
2. Pay full price for things.
3. Pretend I like someone when I do not.
4. Go back to work full time while my kids are young.
5. NOT forgive someone.
6. Be a participant on Fear Factor.
7. Make a snap decision.

Seven Things that Attract Me to My Spouse/Romantic Interest (not necessarily in order):
1. His quiet and yet warped sense of humor.
2. The fact that he speaks Spanish.
3. He is a provider, not just financially, but emotionally and spiritually too.
4. His absolute commitment to family.
5. He's a total people person...fascinating!
6. He is persistent to the point of tenacious.
7. He puts up with me!

Seven Things I Say (or write!) Most Often:
1. Yeah
2. Y'all
3. Okay or mmmkay
4. Seriously
5. ... (yes, the ellipsis, I use it waay too much...stolen from psycho herself)
6. Folks
7. So

Seven Books (or series) I Love:
1. The "Little House on The Prarie" Books
2. The "Lucky" series by Jackie Collins...total trash, but I love it
3. "Belinda" by Anne Rice writing as Anne Rampling (A. know you love it!)
4. Ann Rule true crime books
5. Scrapbooking idea books.
6. Stephen King writing as Richard Bachman
7. The Lottery Rose

Seven Movies I Would Watch Over and Over Again:
1. Fools Rush In
2. When Harry Met Sally
3. Legally Blonde
4. Sleepless In Seattle
5. Little Women (old version)
6. Como agua para chocolate
7. Breakfast Club

Seven People I Want to Join in: (be tagged)

I'm taking The Kept Woman's approach on tagging - everyone and no one. If you played let me know. If you're looking for something to get your blog post quota filled this is the best game around.

The DHW