Yesterday as I got out of the shower I heard the doorbell ring. My kids were in the living room watching The Backyardigans and I forgot to flip the top lock they can't reach and therefore can't open the door. So I wrap the towel around me and venture out to the hallway and hear children's voices. J-boy...okay. Z-boy...check. R., the kid around the corner...ummm, not pleased, but okay. Then what do my ears tell me? Another voice...a girl's voice. What? I call J-boy to my room and ask who is here and he tells me R. and his little sister C. His little 4-year-old sister, C.
Me: You mean they walked around the two blocks by themselves to get here?
J-boy: No, R. rode his motorcycle [read: the motorized mini cycle that is illegal on the street and for kids under 12].
Me: Ooookay. [brain kicking into damage control mode] They can stay for five minutes and then we have to go run errands.
[To myself: I have nothing planned until 2 p.m., but I can find something to do]
J-boy: Okay, Mommy, I'll set the timer.
So I'm thinking as I'm getting dressed at lightening speed, where the fuck was their mother that she let the 6-year-old bring his 4-year-old sister over here to play? Then it hits me. Oh, she's at home alright, but she's sleeping. She took a new job working from 3-11 p.m so the kids are pretty much on their own in the morning while dad is at work (he's in construction so that means sun up to sun down work schedule). My guess is she was tired and told the kids to go play over at the DHW's house.
Here is the thing... I AM NOT PROVIDING FREE CHILD CARE.
I have chosen to stay at home with my kids, at great financial sacrifice I might add, so that I could care for *my kids*. My kids. MY kids. MY KIDS. I don't know how to make that any clearer. And while I totally get and sympathize with the plight of the working-outside-the-home mom, I would appreciate a similar understanding and consideration for my position. A phone call to check to see if it's okay if her kids come over. A little notice perhaps? Not this assumption, nay expectation, that I'm home anyway and it won't be any trouble at all.
FUCK THAT SHIT.
Yes, I'm very good with kids. I do care for children at my MDO program and I have a well established community of you-take-care-of-mine-I'll-take-care-of-yours moms. I like having kids over to play, however that doesn't mean I want to be the house everyone sends their kids to when they need a nap, to run to the grocery store or visit the gynecologist. You see the difference?
So all of you who read this ranting of mine, first of all bless you, and then how do you stop this madness? I sent them home, but under the pretense of we had to go somewhere. However, I shouldn't have to feel like I'm locked out of my own house in order to keep parents from sending me their kids.
Damn.
Double Damn.
The DHW, who's spell check hadn't yet learned the works "fuck" and "shit"
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6 comments:
HOLY CRAP!!! I don't know what to tell you there, sister.
Hm. I have yet to run into that problem...I see nothing wrong with letting the little boy know that he must call first. That's just common courtesy. Then just send him home. Every time. Send him home.
That is so sad. And mostly, sad for those little kids, whose mom is sending them out somewhere, let alone on such an unsafe thing. It just makes you wonder.
Not cool. I haven't run into that prob yet (I'd probably call DCFS/CPS if Daughter #1s friends came over alone being that they're one 2 y/o) so no advice other than to just say that's sucky.
I've noticed that I feel "obligated" to be nice to kids that aren't my own regardless of the fact they are trespassing on my time and energy without permission. Our moms didn't feel this obligation. They told the kids to go home. We need to follow their example. We can be nice when it's warranted and firm when it's warranted. Easier said than done for me.
Stick to your guns DHW. We're all behind you!
Chili
That's just wrong. I don't have kids of my own yet, but I'd send them straight home. It's one thing to come by and see if your kids can play, but to bring along little sister and expect to be entertained? tacky-tacky-tacky. Shame on their mom!
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