Visions of Pink

I finished my bag. I have knitted, cast off and felted that BAMF. She is very pretty, but we're still getting used to one another. I will take picture for all of you who have been waiting with reckless anticipation for the finished product.

-e

Allrightee Then!

Two of my "peeps" also have birthdays in November. I wanted to commemorate their special days with a token of my love and appreciation. I picked up a calendar for each of them and brought it to our weekly knit night. In the calendar there was a new pattern for each day of the year. Wow, I thought, what fun to be inspired by yarn and creativity every morning you wake up.

One of the girls opened the packaging to check out the patterns we saw some perfectly lovely projects that we will attempt at knit night or another time. However, it did become painfully obvious around February that the publishers were, at times, reaching to fill up the entire year. The project that led us to that conclusion was a Valentine's knitted thong. Yes, indeed! I have to wonder, what kind of yarn would you use for this pattern? I think I'd have to run screaming from wool on this one. And the novelty fibers would be uncomfortable with all their bumps and glitter, no?

Girls, Happy Birthday and I hope you do like your calendars. If you decided to knit that thong be sure to bring it to the next knit night for show and tell.

-e

It Ain't A Holiday Until Something Gets Broke

You know when you combine family all in the same house for extended period of time no good can come of it, right? I honestly thought this would be event that sent someone to the ER, but it wasn't. One of Papa's brothers broke the corkscrew while trying to remove the cork from a bottle of Pinot Grigio. Hmm, how do we get the cork out now? Oooh, this seems like a fine family project! NOT. So two minutes later, pliers in hand, the boys (let their ages in the categories of 20 to 40 make no never mind here, they are behaving like boys) set out to rescue this bottle.

Surprisingly they did get the cork out with nary a broken bone or dish. Honestly I so could have lived without that bottle of wine. I'm a White Zinfandel gal myself.

Not to let this holiday go without incident my 3-year-old niece is the one that ended up with the tribal markings. She was running out the door as The Negotiator was opening the door and when door meets forehead, well I think you know the rest of the sad, sad tale. She ended up with quite a gash on her right eyebrow and I got to relay the story of the scar on my forehead given to me by my cousin when I was her age.

Everything comes full circle.

-e

You Say It's Your Birthday? It's My Birthday Too! Nah Nah Nah Nah!

I think I'll just get it out in the open that today is my birthday. I'm okay with it. Maybe I'm trying to convince me more than you?

Since it's a school holiday I'm home with my beloved children. Yep, they've promised to behave and be nice to each other all day in honor of my birthday. Too bad that proclamation went out the door at 9:00 a.m. when they came to fisticuffs over an action figure.

*sigh*

I'm off to Best Buy to exchange the car charger that the shithead clerk in the the cell phone accessory area said would work with Papa's Samsung phone. It does not. Oh, correction he did not actually say it would work, that would have been too much trouble. Rather he wordlessly handed me the package and walked away. Don't you love the customer service?

-e

Family!

Yep, it’s getting to be that time of year again when I get to grump about my family. Mostly I love having so many relatives around, but holidays are when the rubber meets the road. Everyone seems to be sideways with one another.

What is everyone doing for Thanksgiving? We aren’t completely sure yet. My mom is having dinner at her house and all my in-laws are supposed to come here for lunch. All this hullabaloo for one day?

I think next year we’re having pizza. Or did I say that last year?

-e

8 Years Ago

Today is the anniversary of my last day at a RPJ (Real Paying Job). I was put on bed rest when I was almost 8 months pregnant with my first boy. Since then I've been mostly a stay-at-home-mom. A few years ago I started teaching at a Mother's Day Out program, which is super part time care for moms who are at home, but need time to run errands, visit the chick doctor, go to therapy...whatever. I teach 2 days a week for 4 hours a day. Not exactly paying the mortgage, but Starbucks loves me and my babies got to go to the class for free. I love most of the people I work with and it's fun for me. It's been good.

Lately though, now that both boys are in school all day, I've been thinking about what to with myself. I want to do more than sing "Itsy Bitsy Spider" and "The Wheels on the Bus". Not that painting and Play Doh haven't been oodles of fun, but I got this whole student loan thing going and I sort of feel like I should put that degree and the experience of my past RPJs to good use. Papa and I talked about me going back to work full time and he wasn't all that amped about me and a full time gig. Let's face it, I do most of the house and kid stuff (which is not to any way minimize his household contribution - he totally steps up, he's just not the coordinator) and taking that on for him his akin to a root canal. Besides what a total stress worrying about what to do with the kids when school is out like it will be for 5 days next week. I see parents that have two full time working outside them home jobs lose years of their life worrying about where to stash the kids and how much extra it will cost.

My friend Candy has been leading me in to the VA business for quite awhile and I'm taking the plunge. I'm really excited! I've got the business name, secured the domain name and I'm looking to get my logo done. I'm doing the set up for my website, but I might have someone actually build it for me. I love the idea of owning my own business. We have before, but it didn't work out. Still I learned a ton about running a business and I think it will serve me well this time around. Most importantly for us, Papa is good where he is at and I don't have to worry about bringing in income to eat. I just want to have something to build and improve my quality of life.

So on the anniversary of the day I left a job I start a new adventure. I'll let y'all know how it goes!

-e

Phooey!

This seriously made CNN breaking news? Am I the only one that feels this information should be reserved for entertainment television and not "legitimate" news sources?

I mean it's voting day! Why does this information merit breaking into my e-mail retrieval experience?

-----Original Message-----
From: BreakingNews@MAIL.CNN.COM [mailto:BreakingNews@MAIL.CNN.COM]
Sent: Tuesday, November 07, 2006 3:09 PM
To: TEXTBREAKINGNEWS@CNNIMAIL12.CNN.COM
Subject: CNN Breaking News

-- Britney Spears files for divorce from her husband Kevin Federline, citing irreconcilable differences.

Phooey! Double Phooey!

-e

Critter On The Weather

This morning as The Critter is preparing to go to school he puts on a fleece pull-over. Papa tells him "son, I think it's going to be too warm for that" to which The Critter responds, "Dad, it's almost time for Christmas! It's time for the freezing weather!"

Hmmm. I guess he is seeing too many commercials if a) he thinks it's close to Christmas and b) he assumes that the weather in the commercials set in the Midwest/Northeast have any bearing on our climate in Texas.

We let him go in his fleece. He'll get hot soon enough and put it in his backpack. I sure admire his vision and belief though.

-e

Political Poop

I hate the time right before an election. The mass mail outs, the computer generated messages and the advertisements. I wish there was a way to opt out or at least them know that I voted early and their wasting their precious "get out the vote" time on someone who already got out and voted.

C'mon Tuesday and the then bring on the silent airwaves on Wednesday!

-e

Thirteen Thursday: Holiday Worries and Wonders

Today is the day we offer up 13 things about ourselves in order to get to know one another a just a little bit better. Krisco started this train of thought so pop on over and let her know you're on board.

It being November and all I've started my official holiday worrying. Here are some things that are on my brain:

1) Crafts - I have to think of fun, easy-to-do and appropriate or adjustable for ages 7, 5 and 3 crafts for the month of December and three holiday parties. Yes, I plan to use Oriental Trading Company for some of them, but not all of them since those crafts come with lots of pieces. Why is that important? Because if it's too complicated then mommy/teacher ends up doing the project and that's not really the goal.

2) Presents - I've started buying for the boys, but everyone else is being thrown under a bus at this point. I don't know what people want. Hell, I don't know what I want. This time of year seems so commercialized and hum bahg-y that I'm starting to dread it sooner and sooner each year. I love the season and the tradition, but the gift giving makes me crazy.

3) The Teacher Gifts - It's the time of year to hit up parents for money to buy the teacher a gift. It's not hard and I don't mind doing it, but there seems to be a sense of expectation that as co-room parent we're supposed to also be everyone's personal reminder service. I'm sorry, but there is nothing that bothers me as much as being told "remind me". Um, no. Write a little note and remind yourself. I got enough to keep up with all on my ownsome.

4) Parties - There are at least three to be organized. Crafts, goodies to eat, goodies to take, time, place and so many other details.

5) The Politics of Family - It never fails that we are expected in multiple places at the same time. We've managed to get Christmas pretty well worked out, but even after 16 years of togetherness we're still struggling with Thanksgiving.

6) Flu Shots - I've got to get my older, asthmatic child a flu shot. The pediatrician's office says they'll call when their in, but I haven't heard. I'm afraid to keep calling them fearing they'll place me on "stalker status".

7) Food - It's always so busy this time of year that we end up eating out way too much. I've done a lot of prep work on several meals so we're not tempted to drive-thru. The cost of eating out just kills me.

8) Weight - And of course, there is the extra baggage we take into the new year in the form of added pounds (and time with our family).

9) Exercise - Both for my sanity and the aforementioned weight, I need to walk. I must create time. I love that my days are free, but I feel like there is a lot of pressure to spend time with people during the hours my kids are in school. In order to walk I have to put me first. Not exactly the spirit of the season, no?

10) Me Time - I get very little of this despite my mostly-stay-at-home status. I think some people have the impression that since I don't clock into a 9 to 5 every day that I'm available at a moments notice. Not so. My day is pretty much set the night before and I'm not really good with being flexible. I mark out my 5 priority goals before I go to bed and work really hard to get them done so I feel that I've accomplished something. Once those 5 things are checked off I do something for ME. Frankly, that happens very little because I'm constantly getting waylaid into meeting someone else's need. Other women have talked to me about this problem. I've heard Oprah, but for me, the problem persists.

11) The Cars - Both of them need oil changes, but we can't make the time for auto-wellness. Very bad.

12) The House - It's a disorganized mess. I'm trying. I can't promise it will get any better over the holidays.

13) Cards - I have every intention of sending out timely, creative and personal cards this year. Last year I took a picture of the boys, uploaded to Snapfish for cards to be delivered to my house and called it done. It's looking like a repeat performance.

Okay, share your stuff or make up some Thirteens of your own!

-e

Just Wondering

How many times do you invite someone to a recurring event that is a schedule conflict for that person before it is considered annoying? And then when you stop inviting them, but others are talking about it, is that rude? It's one of those fine line things. You want to invite the person because you don't want them to feel like you don't want them there, but they never come so why keep extending yourself? You feel me? I mean if that person came every once in awhile I could see maintaining the invitation, but if they consistently decline isnt' it time to move on?

-e

Knitting Night

It's that time of week again! It's my night to knit with the ladies. It's group therapy for the price of a cup of coffee, albeit Starbucks, and a skein of yarn. Can't beat that! Tonight I worked on the bag I'm someday going to felt. I say someday because I ran out of yarn and my comadre bought the goods at a little fiber store on the other side of town and I have no idea what the color and lot number is to duplicate it. I may give it a try soon, but in the mean time I'm working on my soft lime green scarf that will have yummy bling at the ends.

This is where I'm at so far on the bag. Do check back soon to see my progress.


-e

October Pack Meeting

This month's Pack meeting was on fire safety. All the hot firemen came to give a presentation to the cubs on what to do in th event of a fire. I have to admit this is a meeting that I always enjoy! Our den was in charge of the cake raffle, but neither of the boys won this time. Two of our brother wolves won and that was just fine.

-e

Props To Papa

We were supposed to go camping this weekend, but it didn't work out. No matter all the boys just went camping in the backyard. Papa pitched the smaller tent, lit a fire in the chimenea, pulled out the smore makings and instant campsite.

I, however, stayed inside in my own bed. I'm happy to camp if we're actually out in the wilderness, but I'm not going to take a pass on the comforts of home if it's not necessary.

-e

Help, I’ve Started Something And I Can’t Finish It!

I can not seem to find a way to finish a project. This morning I got up (and yes, I’m still home with a chicken pox kid) and am cleaning out two cabinets. Just two. Still, every item out of the cabinet begets a new task. I’m trying really hard to stay focused, but here I sit in from of my computer working on my blog. I’m doing a great job, aren’t I?

It’s not just today, it’s every thing. I’m trying to decide if I’m going to homeschool next year. Every time I get some information I find another side of the story. I’m sorry it’s the reporter in me. I have been trained to investigate both sides and report objectively and accurately. Yes, I know this is not a story, but rather my son’s education and I’m not good at making decisions.

*sigh*

Oh, yeah. We did talk to the peditrician about The Negotiator’s inability to focus. We chatted about it while we were there for his chicken pox — did I tell y’all he DOES have chicken pox?? — and we’re exploring our options. She gave me a book to read, um, do they have an audio book on this so I can listen while I’m in the car? I’ve brought up the subject of homeschooling to The Negotiator. So far, well, let’s just say he’s skeptical. I haven’t broached the subject vis-a-vis me homeschooling him, but rather introduced the idea generally. We talked about what homeschooling is, who he knows that is homeschooled and some of the reasons people have school at home. So far he’s very noncommittal. I’ll let y’all know.

My dining room table looks like a hurricane waiting to die. It’s the first flat surface as you come into my home so everything gets deposited there to die. Backpacks, mail, shopping bags, school work, and the list goes on. That was my big project yesterday, to clean off the table. It’s not done and here I am starting this cabinet thing. Which leads me to the garage and the gallon on vinegar I bought to start using more natural cleaners. Which I have to come look up on the Internet. Which brings me here to my computer. Which leads me to my blog.

It’s the whole If You Give A Mouse A Cookie thing gone horribly, horribly wrong.

-e

Day Three and Counting

Today marks the third day The Negotiator has been home sick. He doesn’t even appear to be on the mend. He’s been running a fever since Monday night. This morning Papa clocked him at 101 once the Motrin wore off. Crap. He’s itchy, but doesn’t have chicken pox. There were about 8 known cases of chicken pox in his school, but this isn’t it. We’re trotting back to the doctor today.

I’ve been out of work this week too. I’ve done some work from home, but I miss being around the other teachers. I miss our playground time. Of course the weather has been pretty crappy so there wasn’t any playground time on Tuesday.

I’m trying to get caught up at home. It just seems mail, laundry and dishes multiply at an alarming rate. I did laundry on Monday and I have 3 spanking new loads to do on Thursday. The paperwork, oh, the paperwork. I curse the mailman everyday he brings be more crap to slog through. It’s bad enough that I’m on every junk mail list in the commerce driven world, but so is my family. I get mail for at least four members of our family each week. Oh, and let us not forget John Smith’s correspondence. A few years ago when Papa was working at That Agency I had our number listed under John Smith so as to not be detected and still not have to pay for a non-published number. Well, Mr. Smith gets a lot of mail still. I’m not complaining, mind you. He gets some awesome coupons in the mail that I feel obliged to use on his behalf. After all what is Mr. Smith going to do with a free pair of panties from Victoria’s Secret? Wait! Don’t answer that.

I need to catch up with my Scouts. Dates and places have changed for activities and I have to pass that information along. I’ve not been a very good leader this last week. That thought is mitigated by the fact that I have been a pretty darn good teacher this week. All of The Negotiator’s schoolwork has come home and I’ve been going over it all with him. When he has energy we try to knock out a few worksheets and I’ll read to him or he’ll read to me. Then we take a break and go our separate ways until it’s time to come back and take care of a little more business. He seems to retain information better in small amounts. Makes sense to me. I think most people do not learn well under the Camel school of learning.

Okay, off to call the doctor. Y’all come back now, ya hear!

-e

Scanner

A friend of mine recently watched this show on PBS by Barbara Sher. My friend found that she’s a “scanner” . Which basically explains why she is having a hard time deciding what to be when she grows up. I told her she sounds like me.

I’ve been committed to my little part time job for as long as I have only because they are SO flexible and put up with me. Sometimes I think about starting a business, but as soon as it feels like work my mind is running in the other direction. I get bored in the details. I love scrapbooking. I always balked at the idea of teaching it because then it would take the love out of it for me. Despite all my protests I did eventually teach a class at Michael’s. I hated it. All the rules and regulations just made drudgery of my passion. I guess we can’t all be Oprah.

I think we might have been sold a load of crap with this whole do-what-you-love-and-the-money-will-come notion. That’s like winning the lotto, a long shot. Most of us have to pay a mortgage, bills and eat so we do things we might not be all that amped about so by the time we can give to our passion we’re wiped out. Emotionally, financially and creatively. Maybe the trick is to be happy what we’re doing and not necessarily doing what we’re happy about? I dunno.

This much I know, I love being home when my kids are home. It’s more important to me than driving a new car, than having the latest techno gadget, than having my identity through my career rather than through my family. When my boys come running to me after the school bell rings, it makes up for every sacrifice we’ve made over the years. That is our choice. That is MY choice. Others may choose differently and I respect that choice as I hope they will respect mine. I’m okay being a mom and a fill-in mom (aka preschool aged teacher). I will do it as long as I am able and I continue to be happy.

-e

The Tears of A Clown

I guess that clown would be me except I’m scared shitless of clowns. The fear stems from “Poltergeist” the movie. Ruined clowns for me forever, but I digress. Still the title fits my mood.

Okay, maybe “The Tracks of My Tears” would be better.

I had my parent-teacher conference with The Negotiator’s teacher today. Papa couldn’t make it so I met him for lunch right after and boo-hooed so much through the meal he went back to work, wrapped up and came home. It seems our boy is falling through the cracks. He’s not Talented & Gifted which neither of us could give a flying fandango about and he’s not low performing so he’s just expected to keep up. The problem is there is no problem. He’s not a discipline issue. He’s quiet and sweet and empathetic, but he works too slow. How is that remedied in the classroom? If his work isn’t complete he loses recess and gets a warning. A warning about what? To stay on task. And how does that warning help him other than to crush his spirit and tatter his self esteem? It’s just a reminder to keep up, I'm told.

Bottom line? He’s falling behind and if he doesn’t learn to work faster third grade is going to devour him. Third grade?! Why aren’t we just getting what we need out of second grade? It seems his handwriting is bad and he won’t be able to learn cursive if it doesn’t improve.

He doesn’t complete his worksheets so he doesn’t get free time. He’s one of the last ones sitting at his desk. When he doesn’t finish his work he has to take it home to do at night. I asked him why he doesn’t finish and he says he doesn’t understand and he doesn’t want to disturb the teacher to ask for help. I also found out he *finally* got to try a computer site he’s been waiting to have a turn at and he didn’t know how to log on so he just sat there for his whole 15 minute turn. Again, why don’t you ask for help? He tells me he raised his hand, but the teacher didn’t see him. He’s so timid about asking for anything. No matter how much we assure him that asking is a good thing he won’t ask. I think he fears the rejection. When he was in Kindergarten and 1st he was terrified to ask the teacher if he could go to the bathroom. Papa had to go school a couple of times to make sure that The Negotiator was sure about the routine. He finally got it after 4 weeks, but he would still hold IT if there was any break in the routine.

I don’t blame the teacher. She has several rambunctious kids she is dealing with so she’s doing the best she can with what she’s got. She says she loves The Negotiator, but she hasn’t found a way to get through to him. Join the club. He just doesn’t learn the same way the other kids do. He takes longer to process, but when he does get it he GETS it. The teacher just can’t wait for him. Damn. Add to that the more they push the more he withdraws. It’s a vicious circle.

You’ll be proud to know that I didn’t actually cry in front of the teacher. I managed to keep my dignity together long enough to cry my eyes out at lunch with Papa and this afternoon with a friend. I’m looking into my options, but I think I know where I am headed.

Thanks for letting me cry this out again. There is nothing worse than feeling like your child is struggling and not in a good, he’s-growing-from-the-challenge sort of way.

-e

Bad Service Sucks

We had a work meeting at the new Scooters in our area.

The positive I can say is that it was nicely decorated, they had fun stuff for sale and they had hand lotion in the bathroom in addition to soap.

Areas of concern, they got my drink wrong. I drink chai latte, add vanilla, no foam. What I got was something that tasted like chai flavored dirt that was more than half foam and no vanilla. Gotta have the vanilla. Also the service was lousy. No, “welcome to Scooters”, no “what can I get started for you today?” What we got was a grunt of “I can take your order over here.” Golly gee, so good of you to be able to take time out of your busy chat schedule to totally decimate my order.

I swore I was going to write an email to the owner to give them constructive feedback, no bitchfest, I promise. So far all I’ve been able to do is schedule our next meeting at Starbucks. At least they get my drink right every time.

-e

I *Heart* Camping

You don’t know how hard that was to admit.

I’ve never considered myself to be a real nature girl, but camping seems to be much different. First of all, Papa plans and prepares all the meals. Since camping gear is the toys of boys, Papa was all too excited to play. I kept thinking what do you DO when you go camping? OMG the hours just flew by. We played in the river, ran around, went on a hike, pretended to fish and talked around the camp fire. Other than that we did blissfully nothing.

It was nice to camp with such a big group (this was a Cub Scout Pack camp out) because if we forgot something, some one surely had it for us to borrow. It was also nice getting to the parents in such an informal atmosphere. We laughed. We cried. We bonded. Okay, too much, but we DID bond.

Who’s ready for the next camp out?!

-e