The Good, The Bad and The Ooogly

First I’m back from Progresso. I had a blast and managed to stay out of any Mexican jails. The house was a mess when I got home, but it’s not like I left it clean so no harm, no foul. I found the boys all healthy, happy and it one piece. We’ll call it good.

Bummer is I lost my cell phone on the Mexico side. I discovered the phone was gone pretty quickly, but you’d be surprised to know there isn’t a general “lost & found” at the boarder. Okay, maybe not. The last I saw my phone I was in a bathroom in a bar and then the phone was gone. My mom thinks someone pick pocketed it. Heck after 2 margaritas and a pina colada I might have traded it for a shirt?

I bummed a phone and called to suspend my service. Thankfully no one had made any phone calls (you might remember that unfortunate incident a few years back when Papa left his phone at the Marie Callendar’s and whoever took it racked up $100+ in international calls toot sweet). Bottom line I don’t have a phone and it’ll take a day or two for me to make my way to Sprint and end my pity party.

I’m doggie-butt tired and the Critter has a field trip out tomorrow that I’m supposed to chaperon. Is it awful that I’m PRAYING for rain?! I just found out that the Negotiator has a field trip to a butterfly farm on Friday and this is the absolute first I’ve heard of it. Why don’t boys communicate these things?!

So there you have it. Love, kisses and all that crap.

Thanks, Bluebonnet

For leaving that bottle of Mudslide at my house from a long-ago bunco.

Last night The Critter nearly took the tip of this finger off playing with a garden tool (we are such watchful parents). He saw Papa using the long-handled branch clippers to cut back some of the branches near the fence we’re taking down. Critter decided to “help” and sliced into his pinky near at the fingernail. Blood was everywhere! We took him to the ER last night, but the blood finally stopped so we brought him home and took him back to his pedi today. We knew his tetanus shot was current and that the finger was still attached so we didn’t stay for the hospital procedure. Critter was so exhausted and totally freaked out by the ER that it was less traumatic to wait for Dr. J and just dope him up for the night.

We got in to see the doctor this morning and she put Humpty Dumpty back together again. It seems like the only time Boy Two sees his pediatrician is when she’s has to patch him up and send him on his way. We had lunch and ran some errands before picking up Boy One with Boy Three (who today is Tinkerbell's son since she has strep throat and Big A is out of town). At the moment all is right and happy in Boyland.

But wait! Fast forward…

You will not believe it, but Critter stepped on a nail this afternoon. He went in the backyard without shoes. The rule is you have to have shoes on so outside so I didn’t specifically tell him that this time. Because it’s every time, you know? He’s running around playing tag with the Negotiator and Boy Three when all of a sudden Critter comes in the house crying. The nail wasn’t actually in his foot, but there was a nice gaping hole from which blood was oozing. Fortunately we know for certain from our visit THIS MORNING that his tetanus shot is current.

God has a wonderful sense of humor. Or this whole “secret/law of attraction” theory everyone is banking on is all a load of shit because I tell myself constantly how careful and cautious my children are and nothin’.

E

WOOT! There It Is.

I finished knitting a scarf. The never ending scarf. I swear I've been working on this for weeks. Months. I made this one for my good friend, Di. She loves lime green and I crocheted some fun pink yarn around the edging . The Critter is modeling the finished product for you.

Now that I've shown it off to the folks in my bubble everyone seems to want a piece of the Knitmaster's work.

-E

Oooh, Look What The Crap Bunny Left Us

My mom is cleaning out her house. Sort of a very long, drawn out flylady process. She's going through this purging phase and so guess who is the benefit of her discards. Right-o!

What am I gonna do with all this stuff? Really do I, a mom of two small boys, need delicate little etched wine glasses? My mom gets these baubles at thrift stores because she thinks they look pretty, and they do, but it causes her to take leave of her practical senses. So alleviates her guilt of purchase by passing them on to me. On my door step without telling me.

Sneaky.

So I leave the house on my way to meeting last night and found a basket of these "treasures" sitting there waiting for my attention. They're still there because it's easier to carry them to the back of my car to take them to the GW.

E

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Generational Gap

I signed up for myspace.

I have to admit I feel a little like a middle aged woman wearing a miniskirt. Even if she can pull it off it doesn't seem quite right. You know?

I'm enjoying customizing my profile and all dat, but the whole process feels a little clunky. Or maybe I'm just used to blogger? I've tried to move to wordpress before and I came back. I am a creature of habit.

I also can't help but wonder how I will keep up with this on any sort of a regular basis. I sort of see two different audiences with blogger and myspace since I use some identifying information on myspace, but have it set to "friends only". Still if I post here and then post there won't they get bored?

As usual, my carrying on is much ado about nothing.

E

BUSTED

I was putting some of the Critter's worksheets in a bag for the recycle bin and he caught me.

"MOM! You're going to recycle my projects?!" he cried.

"Of course not! I was putting it in a bag for safe keeping until after everyone has come to dinner. Then I was going to let you tell me all about it!"

Papa and The Negotiator looked at me knowing I was lying like a rug, but Critter bought it. That's all that mattered.

Not Your Mama's Minivan

Or any one's minivan for that matter.

I got to take this bad girl out for a spin around town.



Our PTA was raffling off a weekend with a BMW Z4. The dealership let us take a car for a visual and I got to show her around.




And because I'm such a good mommy I took the boys out for a spin. Later someone mentioned that kids in a convertible is not a safe idea. Whatever. The Critter is in his booster seat so it's all good.





I can tell you that it's really hard to go from this kind of ride back to my Sienna minivan. Of course spring in Texas is hard to beat in any car. I'm sure I'll appreciate my minivan and her air conditioning come May.

E

Spring Break In Pictures

I meant to post these earlier, but well, you know...




The Negotiator earned his archery belt loop at Cub World. All the cubs and dads went to a District sponsored event. I can rest easy knowing Boy 1 can bag a water buffalo in a famine.




Spring Break isn't a break without a carnival. We opted out of the official rodeo carnival for the rag-tag outfit about a mile from the house. We didn't have to pay for parking and the wrist bands were only a $1 more than at the Texas Star event. Neither boy noticed the difference so who are we tell them?




I love that they are each other's best buddies. They fight, but they do have a great time with one another. Makes my job much easier - and much harder.




We planted spring flowers. Our yard looks like doo doo. Papa and the boys spent some time getting the weeds out and adding a little color. I'm hoping to add more, but they were worn out with just the clearing stages.

E

About Me

I got this from my genxjackie who has no blog. She must get one.

Place an (X) by all the things you've done, or remove the X from the ones you haven't. This is for your entire life!

Smoked a cigarette. (X)
Drank so much you threw up. (X)...Everclear is NOT my friend
Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back. (X)
Gone on a blind date.
Skipped school. (X)...but don't tell my mom
Seen someone die.
Been to Canada
Been to Florida (X)...honeymoon
Been to Mexico . (X)
Been on a plane. (X)
Been lost. (X)...I could get lost in a box
Been on the opposite side of the country. (X)
Gone to Washington DC.
Swam in the ocean. (X )
Felt like dying. (X) after the aforementioned Everclear
Cried yourself to sleep. (X)
Played cops and robbers. (X)
Recently colored with crayons. (X)
Sang karaoke. (X)...at our last bunco game
Paid for a meal with only coins. (X)...how else do you eat in college?
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't. (X)
Made prank phone calls. (X)
Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose. (X)
Caught a snowflake on your tongue. (X)
Danced in the rain. (X)
Written a letter to Santa Claus. (X)...I'm still waiting for my Ken doll
Been kissed under the mistletoe. (X)
Watched the sun rise with someone you care about. (X)...my husband when our sons were sick and we were up all night cleaning up poopie and vomit
Blown bubbles. (X)
Made a bonfire on the beach. (X)
Crashed a party. (X)
Gone roller-skating. (X)
Gone Ice-skating. (X)
Any Nicknames - Lainey, E, Mom,
What is your favorite drink- unleaded-Coke Zero, leaded-margarita on the rocks with salt
Tattoos? - Soon, on my 40th birthday I'll get something
Body piercing? (X)...Ears
How much do you love your job? Define love. Define job.
Birthplace: Austin
Favorite vacation spot? Mt. Hood, Oregon
Ever been to Africa ? No
Ever eaten cookies for dinner? Yes
Ever been on TV? Yes
Ever steal any traffic signs? Yes *hanging my head in shame*
Ever been in a car accident? Yes
Was it your fault? Hell, no
2 doors or 4? 5 - I have a minivan
Salad Dressing? Ranch
Favorite pie? Boston cream
Favorite number? 7
Favorite movie? Fools Rush In
Favorite holiday? Thanksgiving
Favorite desert? Cream puff with custard in the center, not whipped cream
Favorite food? Mexican
Favorite day of the week? Saturday
Favorite brand of body soap? Target or Dove
Favorite TV show? Grey's Anatomy
Toothpaste? Crest Pro Health
Favorite smell? Cinnamon vanilla
What do you do to relax? blog, knit, read, scrapbook, watch tv
How do you see yourself in 10 years? Working full time, still living in the same house with a fabulous new kitchen, driving something other than a mom mobile.
What do you do when you are bored? watch TV
Furthest place you will send this message? You tell me, where are you?
Who will respond fastest? Beth

E

Regalos

I am on a board about budgeting and someone was asking what was one of the strangest gifts I've received. I was thinking it was this crazy cat garden stake, but then one of the gals was talking about towels and I must revise my answer.

I remember that when Papa and I got married someone gave us two tweety-bird-yellow towels. Our colors were Burgundy and green so I'm not sure where they got the idea to give us yellow towels. Thankfully they only gave us two and they became the cat's towels and then eventually they became the car's towels.

What is the weirdest gift you've ever received?

-E

My Volunteeritis Is Acting Up Again

Our school carnival is this Saturday. We're getting down to the wire for volunteers, donations, and organizing. I keep thinking that since people aren't helping out that I must. Bad habit.

I have committed to baking dozens of cookies, cupcakes and brownies this week. I will sell tickets, arrange baskets and make phone calls. I will do this in addition to hauling The Negotiator to Cub Scouts, both boys to soccer games at different places, handling all the end of the month accounting at work and maintaining the household.

In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

E

Buggin' On This

You know, sometimes there are people that bug me. This bothers me. I want to like, be liked and get along with everyone. Sometimes it just doesn't work out that way.

There is one mom who is currently driving me bonkers. What's even more frustrating is that I can't put a finger on why she bothers me so much. She's nice enough. Polite enough. I do feel that she's a little inconsiderate. I know there may be a reason why she seems to be completely oblivious to the people and circumstances around her.

What's more is I love one of her kids. I would love to have my boy play with hers, but I don't because then it would lead to the inevitable mommy talk that has to ensue during playtime. I don't want to talk to her. So I avoid.

I'm just really up front that way.

-E

Can You Spot The Killer?

Another one of those crazy quizzes.

I got a 7/10. "Pretty good; it seems you know your JavaBeans from your fava beans, your slashers from your slashdotters."

What did you get?

E

Children. Wild. Help. Me.

OMG! The my school kids were bonkers today! They wouldn't listen, they were ornery to one another. A few even - gasp! - talked back to me. We all remained calm and collected (but did do petty things out of their view) and knew this too would pass.

It better pass.

I know it's hard to get readjusted after being off a week and then whole time change, but get over it, kid. We all have issues.

Am I not the embodiment of maturity? Is it any wonder I teach 3-years-olds? I seem to have not progressed mentally past that state.

E

Dr. Who?

I'm constantly amazed how Papa can manage a staff of many, the business and administration of a medical office and the politics of government yet be so forgetful at home. It cracks me up the things he forgets. For example, the other day he was making a doctor appointment for himself. I hear him talking on phone and then I hear the shuffle of feet coming into the dining room where I'm reading the paper.

He frantically asks me, "who's my primary care physician?"

I reply, "you don't know?"

"I can see his face in my mind, but I don't remember his name" Papa answered.

Mmkay.

I tell him and he walks happily away to complete his appointment.

-E

Stupid.

From today's local paper:

10 EMS employees disciplined for viewing porn while on duty

By Tony Plohetski Thursday, March 15, 2007, 11:15 AM

Ten Austin-Travis County EMS employees have been disciplined for viewing Internet pornography on city computers while on duty, officials said today.

Officials said three paramedics resigned instead of being fired.

Two district commanders were demoted and suspended for two weeks; two other paramedics were suspended for 96 hours - tantamount to two weeks - and three were suspended for 48 hours, which equals a week.

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Gawd! How STUPID can people behave?! I know these are not stupid people, but their actions sure do give me pause for thought. No doubt their good judgement comes into question, but now our city is three paramedics fewer when there is already a shortage.

What kind of tits and ass could possibly be worth this outcome?

I’m sorry, but what defect in these people’s personality leaves them to believe that viewing, porn PARTICULARLY in the workplace, is acceptable? Has the office setting changed that much since I’ve been at home?

E

Taking A Step Down on The Coolness Ladder

We did it.

We joined the minivan nation. (Is minivan one word or two, see I don't even know this which further proves maybe I'm not the minivan type).

I'm learning to love it, but I'm so panicked about having a new-to-me vehicle. We traded in the Suburban which was dangerously close to expiring on us. The Sienna isn't new, but it's got really low miles and, hell anything would have felt new to us. The payments are manageable and now we have a good, reliable vehicle. Safety first, you know.

I'm sorry, when did we take this detour into suburban hell?

I love my life, but every once in awhile I look around and go whoa! As a child of the 80's I thought I was going to be a corporate woman having power lunches, not play dates. I had visions of Madison Avenue, not Sesame Street.

The boys run to tell anyone who will listen "we got a new minivan!" I don't have the heart to tell them it's not what the cool kids are driving. At the dealership they told Papa they could see about adding some sort of sports upgrade. Yeah, right, he says. It's a minivan.

Still it was really nice to spend a little less than $40 on a fill up as opposed to nearly $100. I'm actually thinking that with gas prices we might be less in the hole than we thought given we now have a car payment. The thought gets me through the night anyway.

E

Daylight Savings, Smalight Savings

I get so frustrated with Daylight Savings time. I'm so glad it's happening during our spring break. My kids (both MY kids and the kids I teach) are absolute monsters when the time changes. I'm hoping my kids at school will get their internal clock reset before we get back to class.

I'm sure moving daylight savings ahead 3 weeks makes sense for other parts of the country, but it's a total PITA.

E

Decaf, Please

When am I going to learn to order decaf? I'm usually pretty good, but lately I've been slipping. So here I am at what seems like the middle of the night trying to type off the caffeine.

Damn!

Still the Cinnamon Dolce latte was SO worth it!

E

Tastes for Two

Why can my boys like the same thing?

It seems I'm usually making two different "somethings". One will want a burger and the other chicken nuggets. One will want fresh fruit and one will only drink smoothies. I know I should put stuff out and too bad, so sad if you don't like it. Still I'm a mommy and seeing my kids NOT eat goes against every fiber in my body.

I'm trying a different approach. I'm sending the boys to cooking camp over spring break and maybe they can learn to cook for themselves since they seem to have such different tastes. At the very least I hope to get some help in the kitchen.

E