Just Wondering

How many times do you invite someone to a recurring event that is a schedule conflict for that person before it is considered annoying? And then when you stop inviting them, but others are talking about it, is that rude? It's one of those fine line things. You want to invite the person because you don't want them to feel like you don't want them there, but they never come so why keep extending yourself? You feel me? I mean if that person came every once in awhile I could see maintaining the invitation, but if they consistently decline isnt' it time to move on?

-e

Knitting Night

It's that time of week again! It's my night to knit with the ladies. It's group therapy for the price of a cup of coffee, albeit Starbucks, and a skein of yarn. Can't beat that! Tonight I worked on the bag I'm someday going to felt. I say someday because I ran out of yarn and my comadre bought the goods at a little fiber store on the other side of town and I have no idea what the color and lot number is to duplicate it. I may give it a try soon, but in the mean time I'm working on my soft lime green scarf that will have yummy bling at the ends.

This is where I'm at so far on the bag. Do check back soon to see my progress.


-e

October Pack Meeting

This month's Pack meeting was on fire safety. All the hot firemen came to give a presentation to the cubs on what to do in th event of a fire. I have to admit this is a meeting that I always enjoy! Our den was in charge of the cake raffle, but neither of the boys won this time. Two of our brother wolves won and that was just fine.

-e

Props To Papa

We were supposed to go camping this weekend, but it didn't work out. No matter all the boys just went camping in the backyard. Papa pitched the smaller tent, lit a fire in the chimenea, pulled out the smore makings and instant campsite.

I, however, stayed inside in my own bed. I'm happy to camp if we're actually out in the wilderness, but I'm not going to take a pass on the comforts of home if it's not necessary.

-e

Help, I’ve Started Something And I Can’t Finish It!

I can not seem to find a way to finish a project. This morning I got up (and yes, I’m still home with a chicken pox kid) and am cleaning out two cabinets. Just two. Still, every item out of the cabinet begets a new task. I’m trying really hard to stay focused, but here I sit in from of my computer working on my blog. I’m doing a great job, aren’t I?

It’s not just today, it’s every thing. I’m trying to decide if I’m going to homeschool next year. Every time I get some information I find another side of the story. I’m sorry it’s the reporter in me. I have been trained to investigate both sides and report objectively and accurately. Yes, I know this is not a story, but rather my son’s education and I’m not good at making decisions.

*sigh*

Oh, yeah. We did talk to the peditrician about The Negotiator’s inability to focus. We chatted about it while we were there for his chicken pox — did I tell y’all he DOES have chicken pox?? — and we’re exploring our options. She gave me a book to read, um, do they have an audio book on this so I can listen while I’m in the car? I’ve brought up the subject of homeschooling to The Negotiator. So far, well, let’s just say he’s skeptical. I haven’t broached the subject vis-a-vis me homeschooling him, but rather introduced the idea generally. We talked about what homeschooling is, who he knows that is homeschooled and some of the reasons people have school at home. So far he’s very noncommittal. I’ll let y’all know.

My dining room table looks like a hurricane waiting to die. It’s the first flat surface as you come into my home so everything gets deposited there to die. Backpacks, mail, shopping bags, school work, and the list goes on. That was my big project yesterday, to clean off the table. It’s not done and here I am starting this cabinet thing. Which leads me to the garage and the gallon on vinegar I bought to start using more natural cleaners. Which I have to come look up on the Internet. Which brings me here to my computer. Which leads me to my blog.

It’s the whole If You Give A Mouse A Cookie thing gone horribly, horribly wrong.

-e

Day Three and Counting

Today marks the third day The Negotiator has been home sick. He doesn’t even appear to be on the mend. He’s been running a fever since Monday night. This morning Papa clocked him at 101 once the Motrin wore off. Crap. He’s itchy, but doesn’t have chicken pox. There were about 8 known cases of chicken pox in his school, but this isn’t it. We’re trotting back to the doctor today.

I’ve been out of work this week too. I’ve done some work from home, but I miss being around the other teachers. I miss our playground time. Of course the weather has been pretty crappy so there wasn’t any playground time on Tuesday.

I’m trying to get caught up at home. It just seems mail, laundry and dishes multiply at an alarming rate. I did laundry on Monday and I have 3 spanking new loads to do on Thursday. The paperwork, oh, the paperwork. I curse the mailman everyday he brings be more crap to slog through. It’s bad enough that I’m on every junk mail list in the commerce driven world, but so is my family. I get mail for at least four members of our family each week. Oh, and let us not forget John Smith’s correspondence. A few years ago when Papa was working at That Agency I had our number listed under John Smith so as to not be detected and still not have to pay for a non-published number. Well, Mr. Smith gets a lot of mail still. I’m not complaining, mind you. He gets some awesome coupons in the mail that I feel obliged to use on his behalf. After all what is Mr. Smith going to do with a free pair of panties from Victoria’s Secret? Wait! Don’t answer that.

I need to catch up with my Scouts. Dates and places have changed for activities and I have to pass that information along. I’ve not been a very good leader this last week. That thought is mitigated by the fact that I have been a pretty darn good teacher this week. All of The Negotiator’s schoolwork has come home and I’ve been going over it all with him. When he has energy we try to knock out a few worksheets and I’ll read to him or he’ll read to me. Then we take a break and go our separate ways until it’s time to come back and take care of a little more business. He seems to retain information better in small amounts. Makes sense to me. I think most people do not learn well under the Camel school of learning.

Okay, off to call the doctor. Y’all come back now, ya hear!

-e

Scanner

A friend of mine recently watched this show on PBS by Barbara Sher. My friend found that she’s a “scanner” . Which basically explains why she is having a hard time deciding what to be when she grows up. I told her she sounds like me.

I’ve been committed to my little part time job for as long as I have only because they are SO flexible and put up with me. Sometimes I think about starting a business, but as soon as it feels like work my mind is running in the other direction. I get bored in the details. I love scrapbooking. I always balked at the idea of teaching it because then it would take the love out of it for me. Despite all my protests I did eventually teach a class at Michael’s. I hated it. All the rules and regulations just made drudgery of my passion. I guess we can’t all be Oprah.

I think we might have been sold a load of crap with this whole do-what-you-love-and-the-money-will-come notion. That’s like winning the lotto, a long shot. Most of us have to pay a mortgage, bills and eat so we do things we might not be all that amped about so by the time we can give to our passion we’re wiped out. Emotionally, financially and creatively. Maybe the trick is to be happy what we’re doing and not necessarily doing what we’re happy about? I dunno.

This much I know, I love being home when my kids are home. It’s more important to me than driving a new car, than having the latest techno gadget, than having my identity through my career rather than through my family. When my boys come running to me after the school bell rings, it makes up for every sacrifice we’ve made over the years. That is our choice. That is MY choice. Others may choose differently and I respect that choice as I hope they will respect mine. I’m okay being a mom and a fill-in mom (aka preschool aged teacher). I will do it as long as I am able and I continue to be happy.

-e

The Tears of A Clown

I guess that clown would be me except I’m scared shitless of clowns. The fear stems from “Poltergeist” the movie. Ruined clowns for me forever, but I digress. Still the title fits my mood.

Okay, maybe “The Tracks of My Tears” would be better.

I had my parent-teacher conference with The Negotiator’s teacher today. Papa couldn’t make it so I met him for lunch right after and boo-hooed so much through the meal he went back to work, wrapped up and came home. It seems our boy is falling through the cracks. He’s not Talented & Gifted which neither of us could give a flying fandango about and he’s not low performing so he’s just expected to keep up. The problem is there is no problem. He’s not a discipline issue. He’s quiet and sweet and empathetic, but he works too slow. How is that remedied in the classroom? If his work isn’t complete he loses recess and gets a warning. A warning about what? To stay on task. And how does that warning help him other than to crush his spirit and tatter his self esteem? It’s just a reminder to keep up, I'm told.

Bottom line? He’s falling behind and if he doesn’t learn to work faster third grade is going to devour him. Third grade?! Why aren’t we just getting what we need out of second grade? It seems his handwriting is bad and he won’t be able to learn cursive if it doesn’t improve.

He doesn’t complete his worksheets so he doesn’t get free time. He’s one of the last ones sitting at his desk. When he doesn’t finish his work he has to take it home to do at night. I asked him why he doesn’t finish and he says he doesn’t understand and he doesn’t want to disturb the teacher to ask for help. I also found out he *finally* got to try a computer site he’s been waiting to have a turn at and he didn’t know how to log on so he just sat there for his whole 15 minute turn. Again, why don’t you ask for help? He tells me he raised his hand, but the teacher didn’t see him. He’s so timid about asking for anything. No matter how much we assure him that asking is a good thing he won’t ask. I think he fears the rejection. When he was in Kindergarten and 1st he was terrified to ask the teacher if he could go to the bathroom. Papa had to go school a couple of times to make sure that The Negotiator was sure about the routine. He finally got it after 4 weeks, but he would still hold IT if there was any break in the routine.

I don’t blame the teacher. She has several rambunctious kids she is dealing with so she’s doing the best she can with what she’s got. She says she loves The Negotiator, but she hasn’t found a way to get through to him. Join the club. He just doesn’t learn the same way the other kids do. He takes longer to process, but when he does get it he GETS it. The teacher just can’t wait for him. Damn. Add to that the more they push the more he withdraws. It’s a vicious circle.

You’ll be proud to know that I didn’t actually cry in front of the teacher. I managed to keep my dignity together long enough to cry my eyes out at lunch with Papa and this afternoon with a friend. I’m looking into my options, but I think I know where I am headed.

Thanks for letting me cry this out again. There is nothing worse than feeling like your child is struggling and not in a good, he’s-growing-from-the-challenge sort of way.

-e

Bad Service Sucks

We had a work meeting at the new Scooters in our area.

The positive I can say is that it was nicely decorated, they had fun stuff for sale and they had hand lotion in the bathroom in addition to soap.

Areas of concern, they got my drink wrong. I drink chai latte, add vanilla, no foam. What I got was something that tasted like chai flavored dirt that was more than half foam and no vanilla. Gotta have the vanilla. Also the service was lousy. No, “welcome to Scooters”, no “what can I get started for you today?” What we got was a grunt of “I can take your order over here.” Golly gee, so good of you to be able to take time out of your busy chat schedule to totally decimate my order.

I swore I was going to write an email to the owner to give them constructive feedback, no bitchfest, I promise. So far all I’ve been able to do is schedule our next meeting at Starbucks. At least they get my drink right every time.

-e

I *Heart* Camping

You don’t know how hard that was to admit.

I’ve never considered myself to be a real nature girl, but camping seems to be much different. First of all, Papa plans and prepares all the meals. Since camping gear is the toys of boys, Papa was all too excited to play. I kept thinking what do you DO when you go camping? OMG the hours just flew by. We played in the river, ran around, went on a hike, pretended to fish and talked around the camp fire. Other than that we did blissfully nothing.

It was nice to camp with such a big group (this was a Cub Scout Pack camp out) because if we forgot something, some one surely had it for us to borrow. It was also nice getting to the parents in such an informal atmosphere. We laughed. We cried. We bonded. Okay, too much, but we DID bond.

Who’s ready for the next camp out?!

-e