These Three Things

3 things I want to do before I die:
1) Raise my kids to be happy, independent, successful by-their-own-definition adults
2) Retake my honeymoon (I pnemonia on the first one)
3) Pay off my student loan

3 things I can do:
1) Give what I can and not feel guilty about what I can't give
2) Bake like I was the Dough Boy
3) Preserve our family past and create routines & traditions

3 things I can't do:
1) Wear a thong (sorry, Kami and Mama Duck)
2) Pretend I like someone when I don't
3) Save the world

3 things I say most:
1) No, thank you
2) Stop it, Critter!
3) 1,2,3 all eyes on me!

3 celebrity crushes:
1) Lance Armstrong
2) Ty Pennington
3) Aaron Sanchez (Iron Chef America)

Cool.

The DHW

SPF: Drinks, Clinks and Crapapalooza

Or just more reason why mommies love mood elevating pharmaceuticals.




Exhibit 1: Your Drink of Choice

Ah, nothing like the sweet taste of booze and caffeine. In this instance I don't indulge together. I love the Smirnoff Twist, madarine orange flavor. Umm ummm! Takes me back to my high school wine cooler days. I never was a Bud girl...he he! Also a high school vice is my diet coke. I don't care how bad for me it is I need at least one a day. I've gone so far as to get the caffeine free from time to time, but I won't let go of my aspertame or now my Splenda. I must have my coffee in the morning and my diet coke during the day. Hey, I don't smoke, I rarely drink (hell, I've been encouraged to drink *more*), I don't do illegal drugs (though my some of my mom friends and I were talking and agreed we'd try marajuana in brownie form if it was legal...how can anything chocolate be bad??) the least I can ask for is my DIET COKE!!!

Exhibit 2: My trunk
I don't have an honest to goodness trunk. I have a vast wasteland where boy stuff accumulates. I have all the laundry that has needed to go to the dry cleaners for about 2 weeks (sure hope Papa doesn't ask for his blue dress shirt). In the purple bin is all the stuff I bought at the stores and decided to return. Yeah, it's a sickness. I also keep a blanket, bottled water and dry food in the back just in case we hit an ice storm in TEXAS and are stranded. The reserves will hold us until be can be rescued. Yes, I know logically this will not likely happen, but I do it all the same.

Exhibit 3: My Dishes

For awhile we had this idea that everywhere we visted we get the boys a plastic plate to remember our trip. Well, after a collection of Thomas the Train from Dallas, Rainforest Cafe from Galveston, Fiesta Texas from San Antonio in addition to all the other characters in our cupboard I think were done with that tradition. One of my kids will only eat out of bowl and sometimes it's just a paper plate kind of night.

For the grown up stuff I decided to do every thing in white so I could just decorate around whichever holiday. I can summer it up or fall it down by buying decorative paper napkins and tablecloth. How very practical of me, don't you think?

You Gotta Have Frrrrriends!

Yeah, I'm behind. Way behind. You want a piece of me? Take a number.

So lets do our best to catch up okay? Lesse where were we...

...ah, yes! Way Back Wednesday brought to you by The Kept Woman. This week she has us dredging up past friendships. BEST friends at that...*snort*. Little girls use that honor as a bargaining tool from the get go.

"If you give me the chocolate pudding for your lunch I'll be your best friend."
"If you let me sit next to cute Jimmy as the assembly I'll be your best friend."

Eventually we grow up and appreciate that ain't NOBODY taking that chocolate pudding and cute Jimmy is a loser who peaked at high school and now drives the van for a local dry cleaners.

Here's my compendium of best buds:

Clockwise from the top. Only first names are being used to protect the embarrassed.

The first one is my high school buddy, Amanda. One night in a drunken stupor when we were 14 she told me I was her BEST friend. Yeah, it was the Bartles & James talking, but who was I to argue. As it turned out she did become one of my 3 best friends in high school and was my maid of honor at my wedding.

My friend Feliz and I at our high school graduation. She had the good sense to take off the big maroon dress, but I kept mine on for the pix.

Feliz and I once again in our 10th grade year. We went to the Carousel dance stag and were just dorky enough to take a picture together commerating the event.

I'm not in this picture, but this was my best friend in fifth grade. Tami moved to Belgium and I went to visit her one summer, but after that disasterous trip I never heard from her again. Oh, sure I've googled her and tried to find her over the years, but nada.

Ginnie, me, Amanda and Birdie, the cat. The cat died several years back and Ginnie cut me loose shortly after my wedding. I'm not sure how or why we lost touch, but we did. I spent many years sending Christmas cards to her through her parents and I still know where they live, but c'mon how long can you spend trying to pursue a friendship that someone won't reciprocate?!

Now I don't have a "best friend" per se, but I have a couple of really good friends whom I love and cherish. As corny as it sounds Papa is my bestest bud as is my mom (who's hubby is her bestest bud...as it should be). So I've given up on the dream of a school girl best friends and just love the friends I have for whatever the reason or season.

The DHW

No Time Like The Last Minute

When will I learn??

I know my mom used to complain about me waiting until the night before fill-in-the-blank to tell her I needed something. Seems some habits die hard.

I had to get my car inspected today. No big deal if it were any month other than August. You see tomorrow is September 1 and new emissions testing goes into effect. That means close to $30 for the test instead of $12. Oh, and if you don't pass we're talking some serious coin to get the damage repaired for the privledge of paying $30 again to get retested. Sweeeet. Why not wait until later you ask? Well, because with anything new there are bugs to work out and I don't have patience to wait while everyone involved with this process gets their collective shit together. Setting aside the fact the learning curve for anything new is enough to drive anyone batty, my "check engine soon" light is on which could only translate to big bucks if I wait even one more day. Yeah, I was just buying time by getting it done today, but it was a calculated risk. Let someone else be the guinea pig for the state's latest and greatest plan.

So I drop Z-boy off at school and go immediately to the testing center; do not pass go; do not collect $200. The line is already six cars deep and four lanes wide. I take my proof of insurance to the good man at the front desk and he tells me, "the wait is two hours". Well, okay. I mean I waited until the last minute, what can I do? Lucky for me I brought coupons to sort and a magazine to read, not to mention I have lots of phone calls to return. Seating is limited, but apart from that I'll make due.

I spare you the pissy-whiney details. Suffice it to say I have learned my lesson. I will not wait until the last minute to get things done. I waited over three hours and ended up squealing into the parking lot to at Z-boy's school just in the nick of time. I'm hot, I'm sweaty, I'm hungry and just generally bitchy at this point, but at least I'm not the poor slob in front of me who's car *didn't* pass at all.

Bummer.

SPF: Oys In The 'Hood

Thanks for viewing my interpretation of this week’s Stuff Portrait Friday brought to you by Kristine. For your entertainment I provide:

The eyesore of the neighborhood
A photo taken secretly (shhhhh)
The most interesting/funny sign in our area

So let’s take a look, shall we?

A photo taken secretly















I have no idea what possessed my neighbors to put up all these flamingos. Papa and I thought it was hilarious, but apparently others did not share our sentiment since the pretty pink lawn art disappeared a few weeks later. Darn! I just felt they were doing their part to “Keep Austin Weird”. It’s sort of an anthem around here.

The eyesore of the neighborhood




















It’s not a house. It’s all the fricking loose dogs. I don’t know why people think its okay to just let Fido run unrestrained. People used to think I was just bitching and complaining because I’m not a dog lover, but after using my ‘hood as the home base for morning walks it seems folks are realizing I’m not a loony as they first thought.

Or so say the voices in my head…

The most interesting/funny sign in your area:















Well, it’s not a sign in a bricks and mortar sort of way, but I think an ambulance and a fire truck in front of your child’s school is a pretty interesting sign. As it turns out there is a child that has a medical condition and it became acute so EMS was called.

Still, not a good sign when you pull up to pick up your kid and lights are a blazing.

T-t-t-t-that's all folks!

The DHW

Oooh, Oooh...I've Been Tagged!

I was tagged by the Psycho SAHM so here’s my love/hate top 10. I’m sure no real surprises here, but maybe you’ll learn something new about the mystery that is me.

Love:
1. God
2. My husband
3. My boys
4. My extended family (well, except for a few)
5. Scrapbooking (yes, it rates that high)
6. Flip flops
7. The smell of Pumpkin Pie candles
8. The color pink
9. Getting a pedicure
10. My Motherwise group


Hate:
1. Extremes in any direction (politics, religion, weather)
2. Buying a bra
3. People who don’t follow the rules
4. Letting my children grow up
5. Soaring gas prices
6. HMMs (High Maintenance Moms)
7. Having to buy something without a coupon or discount
8. When people wait until the last minute to get in the correct lane
9. My student loan
10. When I’m too tired to scrapbook!

Welllll....who can I tag? I think everyone that I actually know who blogs has been tagged and that would just be boring to do again. So I will tag anyone who is actually reading this blog even if I don't you are reading it!

Let me know you played and we'll consider it an introduction of sorts. :)

The DHW

Way Back Wednesday:Say "Cheese"

Mama Duck has given us school portraits as this week’s Way Back Wednesday assignment. As a scrapbooker I have all my school portraits in order and I’m doing my best to scrap my boy’s portraits as they come in so this assignment was loads of fun for me if you set aside the agony of reliving the clothes and the hairstyles.




Don't you love the Pocahontas look?

I wish I could regale you with some tale of when this portrait was taken, but I honestly cannot remember a thing about this event. Nothing. Maybe my braids were too tight?

Here I am in the 4th grade looking as FABULOUS as anyone could hope to in the early 80's. This was about the time my heroine was "Jo Polniaczek" from The Facts of Life. I aspired to have a hair style just like hers, the two ponytails on top of the head and one at the nape of my neck. I guess this was my formal interpretation of the do.

The outfit is what I called my "lizard dress". When a friend called me the night before this picture was taken to ask what I was going to wear I told her my wizard dress. She thought I said lizard dress and the name stuck. It was sooooo funny....okay, locational joke, I guess you had to be there.

Junior year and the perm is queen. I worked tirelessly on getting those bangs *just* right. All that youthful innocence and those bright eyes. As I reflect on this time I think, damn girl, wear your retainer or those straight teeth are going to get all F^(K#D up. And do you *know* how much orthedontia costs?! Oh and, lawdy child, get your eyebrows done.

Something Wicked This Way Comes

Okay, just an update on that little shit who was mean to my kid. I went to lunch with J-boy yesterday and took Z-boy. I met the little brat and as much as I tried to keep an open mind (no, really I did) I don't like her. She's snotty, rude, imposing and insinuating. I was very nice to her and put on my teacher hat when I talked to her, but still there's just not much love there as far as I'm concerned. Still you know what they say, hold your friends close and your enemies closer. So for now I'll just keep watching...and waiting...quietly planning....


The DHW

SPF: Random Portraits of Progress

It's Fridaythe end of the week so you know what that means...Stuff Portrait Friday! This week the good folks over at Random and Odd (read Kristine) have asked us to share:

* Something you made/built yourself
* Tools of your hobby
* Something you want to give away

As luck would have it I had just decorated several slide mounts for a scrapbooking loop I'm in and I had to post what I made. These examples are just a few extras that were easily accessibly on my desk (no small feat, let me tell you - see below). I had to make six of each set. to send to a hostess who would "swap" out all the other handmades and return them to the participants.

Mom The Crafter: Can She Scrap It? Yes, She Can!

The Mad Scrapbooker's desk. Believe it or not this is where I create my scrapbooks, cards and embellishments. In my mind clutter equals creativity.

This is the most organized spot in the room. Let's just say it's a controlled chaos. Those are some of my scrapbooks up in the top left corner of the bookshelf. I get those scrapbooks from Kami since she is my CTMH dealer.

This is the closet where I keep more of the crap I use to create. I know it's a sickness. I can't believe I'm even showing my scrapbook room. Of course there are people who can't believe I even *have* a whole room dedicated to my craft.